The Female Orgasm, the TRUTH about the Source, with Dr. Laurie

Ep 227: THE CLIT IS REALLY BIG! The Female Orgasm, the Truth about the Source, with Dr. Laurie Mintz, an award-winning feminist author. She has written two popular and highly acclaimed books on sexual pleasure, Becoming Cliterate (affiliate links) https://amzn.to/3w93HJ9 and A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Ignite Your Relationships  https://amzn.to/3Ha0i34
She wrote her books to empower women sexually, and thousands of women who have read them have regained their sexual desire, as well as improved their sexual satisfaction, arousal, lubrication, and rates of orgasm. Men who have read the books have also learned how to pleasure women and become better sexual communicators.

We chatted about the truth that the clitoris is the source of the female orgasm, how we can close the orgasm gap... AND is it really a real gap or really, more accurately, is it from inattention to the clitoris? Our culture perpetuates this falsehood. We also chatted about orgasm equality, sex ed, the anatomy of the clitoris (IT'S A REALLY BIG NETWORK AND GROWS TO 300 TIMES ITS SIZE FOR AN ERECTION). Yes, women get erections, it's just internal so it's not visible. She also talked about the danger of labeling orgasms because it creates an orgasm hierarchy. She also gave ideas to spice up your sex life, sex toy suggestions, and so much more!

She's also a tenured Professor at the University of Florida, where she teaches the Psychology of Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduate students each year and has won many professional awards.

Connect with Dr. Laurie Mintz here: https://www.drlauriemintz.com/

Thank you to this episode's sponsors:
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Transcript

Season 3, Episode 227 of the Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow Podcast. This transcript was not edited by a human, created by Headliner app, so it is not 100% accurate. Please email ruanwillow@gmail.com with questions. Copyright 2023 Pink Infinity Publishing All Rights Reserved.

Ruan Willow podcast features Doctor Laurie Mintz on sex and sexuality topics.  Connect with Dr. Laurie Mintz here: https://www.drlauriemintz.com/

>> Ruan Willow: Hello, this is Ruin Willow with the oh, fuck yeah. With Ruan Willow podcast. I'm excited you're here today. Welcome to my podcast where I talk about all things related to sex and sexuality, and I read erotica, mine and others. Today I have a guest who is very amazing, very accomplished, and has amazing books out there, including Becoming Clitorate, why orgasm equality matters, and how to get it in a tired Woman's guide to passionate Sex. Reclaim your desire and reignite your relationship with Doctor Laurie. So if you're under 18, we are talking about sex, we talk about the clit, all that kind of stuff. So it is time to leave the podcast. If you are under 18 Doctor Laurie Mintz has a TEDx talk with over a million views on the topic of a new sexual revolution for orgasm equality. She wrote her books to empower women sexually, and thousands of women who have read them have regained their sexual desire as well as improved their sexual satisfaction, arousal, lubrication, and rates of orgasm. Men who have read the books have also learned how to pleasure women and become better sexual communicators. Becoming cliterate has been recognized by men's health as one of the best books for improving your sex life. Init 120 19 Society for Sex Therapy and Research Consumer Book award. She is also a tenured professor at the University of Florida, where she teaches psychology of human sexuality to hundreds of undergrads each year and has won many professional awards, including being named one of 50 sexual health revolutionaries by the University of Minnesota program in Sexual Health. We talk about the orgasm gap and how, you can have orgasm equality and a proven path to solving many of the sexual problems, likely up to 80%, she says. Doctor Laurie's tips for women are looking to spruce up their sex lives. She's got it. Oh, it's so amazing. She has so many amazing things to say. I can't wait to share this with you, so stay tuned. But first, a word from my sponsor.

>> Ruan Willow: Thank you, sponsor, and we'll be right back.


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>> Ruin Willow: I also want to mention, do not forget to vote right now. The Golden Pigtail Smut Awards are open for nominations. You can nominate your favorite erotic book, erotica author, narrator, someone who creates erotic content, and you can go right to that link. I'm going to put the link to the Google Docs down in the podcast notes and you can vote. Well, for actually you're nominating first, let me back that up. And you can nominate your favorite. There's a whole bunch of different categories nominate. And then the voting starts, I believe, at the beginning of February. So check that out and don't forget to vote. And if you like my work, I would love it if you recommended me, nominated me. I would be so honored and excited. And again, my links are down in the podcast notes where you can find all of my erotica and erotic audiobooks. they're appearing in more and more places online and online sellers. So check that out. And the car sex challenge is about to go live. That audiobook will be going live really soon. I think this week it is supposed to go live. And if you are looking for deals on sex toys, check out my website, get the rue and Willow discount where I have all kinds of discounts, where you can get sex toys for cheaper pleasure products and all kinds of deals like free shipping or a discount. Kuro sex toys is another one where you can get 10% off. So down in the podcast notes will be that link. So check that out and okay, let's get talking to doctor Lori. Oh, fuck yeah. Let's go.


Doctor Laurie Mintz is a bestselling author and speaker on female sexuality

>> Ruin Willow: Hello, everyone. I am so excited. I cannot tell you how honored and excited I am to have this person on my podcast. She's utterly amazing and all the work she's done. I mean, mind blowing. Her name is Doctor Laurie Mintz. She is a PhD, bestselling author of the book Becoming Cliterate, and she's a content creator, professor and speaker. Welcome doctor Laurie Minst. I'm so excited to talk with you. Well, thank you.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me on.

>> Ruan Willow: You have an amazing load of information to share with the world about female sexuality and I am so excited to talk with you.


One of the biggest things, I think, is the whole orgasm gap

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Well, I am so excited to talk to you. So I'm really excited to just have a great conversation about female sexuality.

>> Ruan Willow: Absolutely. You know, one of the biggest things, I think, is the whole orgasm gap. Like, what causes it? How do we close this horrible gap? And, you know, I think obviously it's relational between two people. It's also cultural, though, right?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yes. And in fact, my book, becoming clitoris, it's all about the orgasm gap. Because the subtitle is why orgasm equality matters and how to get it. And I approach it both culturally, which I think is so important. It is a cultural problem. And then in individual bedrooms. But what's happening in individual bedrooms is a reflection of the societal inequities and the devaluing of women's sexuality that is at the heart of the orgasm gap.

>> Ruin Willow: Absolutely. And I grew up that way too. That's what I learned. There was no mention of the word clit when I was a kid. I don't even think I knew what that word existed, to be honest.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. And most of us didn't. Because if you think about sex ed, right? Like, I don't know if this is true for you, but for the most people, that I talk to, they separate the boys and the girls, right? Or at least learn about their penis. They learn about ejaculations and wet dreams and the like. And girls are taught about their periods. And there's no mention the clitoris. There's no mention of sexual pleasure. And in fact, even the language we use. Right. We use the words vagina for our entire genitals, when really the part that gives us the most pleasure is called the vulva, and it includes the clitoris and the inner lips. And that's where the erectile tissue is. And it just reflects and perpetuates like we call our entire genitals by the part that's most sexually useful for male partners than our own orgasms.

>> Ruin Willow: Yeah.

>> Ruin Willow: That's so sad.

>> Ruin Willow: I mean, yeah, I feel like when I was a kid, it was like, this is what happens. This is how, you have your period. And then it was about reproduction and birth, right? There was no mention of pleasure. There's no mention of orgasm. They didn't even mention the word clit. It wasn't. It didn't. It didn't exist as far as they were concerned. You know what I mean?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely. 100%. It's like, it's. There's so much silence around women's most orgasmic organ. And, you know, it's interesting. There was one study, and it was like a side note in the study, but it really struck me that women who were more comfortable saying the word clit or clitoris were more orgasmic just being able to say the word. Which makes sense, right? Because how are you going to tell a partner what you need if you don't know what you have or you know what you have, but you're unwilling to name it?

>> Ruin Willow: Right. And it's really treated like a bad word. I've been in, like, this major outrage of something that happened recently on Instagram. There's a woman educator, and one of her quizzes was, you know how respond in the comments where. Which part of your body gives you the best orgasm? And it was clitoral g spot. I don't remember what the other choices were. Maybe anus. I don't even remember. But. So I went in to answer, right? And I put in the word clitoral. You know what popped up? Violation of community specifications. So basically they're saying, my body part, my clitoral, clitoris. Body part is a bad word. I was outraged.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. And I bet if you put in vagina, they wouldn't do that.

>> Ruin Willow: Oh, right. But then I also decided, you know what I'm going to put in penis. I put in penis. Nothing. Nothing came up. So penis is okay. You can say penis, but you can't say clitoris. I'm like, it's a. It's a body part, and they're analogous.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Body part, you know?

>> Ruin Willow: Exactly.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Oh, that is so. They're so that. I mean, I have to be so careful on instagram, the words I, use and what I say and TikTok, if I even dare, which is use it that much. If I dare use those words, they cut the sound out.

>> Ruin Willow: Okay.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah.


How do we close this gap between men and women on orgasm

>> Ruin Willow: Mine get rejected. I even posted because I erotica author. Also, I posted a bunch of friends erotica covers that Amazon is okay with on a tick tock. And they rejected it. And they were totally covered. They were people. There was no nudity in it. I'm just like, oh, my gosh. You got to be kidding me. They're ridiculous over there.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Oh, my gosh. I mean, unbelievable. Unbelievable.

>> Ruin Willow: It really is. So how. How do we close this gap? I mean, I know we're, you know, you're doing amazing work educating people, getting out there and saying all this, but it's really hard to change people's minds, I find.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, well, and right back at you in terms of the amazing work, trying to, you know, educate people and. But I think it's really takes. I mean, I think it really takes education and empowerment. Like, I think. I mean, I don't think it's going to happen in my lifetime. I'm sorry to say, where we're going to have sex ed, in the schools that include, like, include the clitoris and pleasure and concern and orgasm, they do it, they have that in other countries. So it's not a pipe dream, but I don't think we're going to have it here. So I think it's up to us, I think it's up to us to be like, loud and proud and talk about the clitoris and educate other women and educate our partners and say the word and correct misinformation. I always, like, challenge my students. I teach the psychology of human sexuality class and I challenge my students. The next time you're watching a movie with your friends and you see a scene where the woman has a fast and fabulous orgasm from penetration alone, call it out, say, whoa, that's a false image we just watched. That's not going to cause orgasm for most women. And I think, really, I think it goes education and empowerment to speak the truth and to educate others is the way we're going to have to do this in a grassroots kind of way, because I don't think we're going to get a lot of, like you've seen from even Instagram, you know, we're not going to get it from a societal point of view, basically.

>> Ruin Willow: Oh, absolutely. And I've even had conversations with people where I've actually said that. I've said, you know, most women don't come from penetration alone. This was talking to cisgender men. They didn't actually believe me. They didn't believe me. I had to argue with them. They're like, no, that's not true. And I'm like, the fuck yes, it is. I said, go out there and look at the studies that people are doing, and then they'll argue back with me. Well, that's only a small portion of people. They didn't really, you know, get all this fighting back of resistance. It just drives me mad.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. And it's, you know, believe that privilege is their sexuality, but it's harmful for them, too. There's a great book, you know, by Ian Kerner called she comes first, and it's an oral sex how to manual. But, you know, the basic premise of it is like, if we could understand the role of the clitoris, and I can give stats if you want, about just how many women need clitoral stimulation, too, experience orgasm. But the point of Kerner's book is like, it may be a hard pill to swallow for men who've been told, like, their penis is like the end all be all basically, right. You know, that's the source of their manhood. But that understanding, that is actually freeing for, men because then it takes the pressure off of them to last long and thrust hard. You know, this, this cultural myth and lie puts a lot of pressure on men as well.

>> Ruin Willow: It does.

>> Ruin Willow: And also, you know, like talking about people who are just pretending or faking orgasm before actually eventually come out. There's going to be a lot of shame there. Like, you know, a man, the cisgender male and the heterosexual relationship may not realize that what they were doing was ignoring their partner, and that is, they're going to feel bad about that. And how detrimental is that to both partners, right?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: It's not authentic. It's not. And, you know, I give speeches around the country, and I cannot tell you how many times I've had women say heterosexual cisgender women. Okay, I get it now. But the one I remember the most is a woman saying, but I've been faking for 30 years now.

>> Ruin Willow: wow.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. Now what do I do? You know? And, you know, and she did it for the same reason most women do it. Because she didn't want, she wanted her partner to feel good about himself. And she felt like there was something wrong with her. Never been educated, right?

>> Ruin Willow: And she maybe never had actually been stimulated enough or even know that she needed to be stimulated on the clit enough to actually orgasm. It's kind of like this. You don't know what you don't know exactly.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Although a lot of women know how, like, how to do it by themselves when we know from studies. And I just love these stats. So if you allow me to share them, we know from research that when women are alone, 95% orgasm easily and within minutes. We also know that less than 2% of women masturbate exclusively by putting something in their vagina. Well, yeah, the rest use external alone or external combined with internal yet. Then we get with male partners and we don't get the same type of stimulation. We get alone. We suddenly expect ourselves to orgasm from a whole different way. And the way to close the gap, it's so underutilized. But essential advice, right, is that the most essential step to orgasming with a partner is getting the same type of stimulation you get alone.

>> Ruin Willow: Yeah. Yeah. What I found really interesting because I found this on some of your content somewhere where it was like four minutes for men and women to reach climax while masturbating. And the stats I've been hearing from a lot of other people are, it takes 20 minutes for women to orgasm and whatever, three or four for men. Now, when you look at your stat, how interesting that is. So really what's happening is that they're just not getting enough stimulation. So it's taking 20 minutes and the men do it in four minutes. But your stat said both can get it in four minutes with the right stimulation. And I just kind of like, hit me when. Cause everyone else I talked to says, oh, it's 20 minutes for a woman to get warmed up and ready to orgasm. But no, it's not.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Now, it doesn't happen alone, and it's okay, you know, and I always tell women, take the time you need. It's always going to take longer with a partner because they know exactly what they're doing.


73% of women say they don't get enough clitoral stimulation during sex

And there's, sometimes there's self consciousness and got to warm up. But the bottom line is women are simply not getting the right type of stimulation. Wasn't a scientific study. It was a survey in Cosmo magazine. Still, a lot of women answered it. And it was like, they asked, like, why aren't you orgasming during heterosexual sex? And 73% said not the right type or not enough clitoral stimulation.

>> Ruin Willow: Right?

>> Ruin Willow: Absolutely.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: You know, and I, I always like to say, I'm not trying to make people, there are women who orgasms from penetration alone. It's a small percentage, depending how the question is worded, anywhere from four to 18% can orgasm for just a thrusting penis without also getting their clitoris stimulated. So I'm not trying, I just want to be clear. I'm not trying to make. Those people are like, oh, you're making me feel bad now. I feel abnormal. Orgasm is totally fine, but that is such a small percentage yet that it is not represented in our culture, in our movies, in our education, in porn, anywhere, except, you know, podcasts like this. And, you know, some, you know, talks and, you know, sex positive social influencers. So that's why the focus here, because so many women feel broken.

>> Ruin Willow: That's really sad. We're not broken. People are just not getting what you need and talking about your needs, it's just completely ignored. Yeah, it's just, I think it's, it's really sad. I feel like it's a really sad phenomenon that's in our country. And like you said, other countries are doing it much better than we are. And will it happen here? I don't know. But I sure am so glad that you're doing the work you're doing to help educate people, because there's a lot of shame into, like, why does it take you 20 minutes to orgasm or 30 minutes or 40 or whatever it is, you know, women feel shame and it's not their fault.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yes, exactly. The metaphor I like to use is like having, expecting a woman to orgasm with no clitoral stimulation and just penetration is like expecting a man to orgasm by stroking his balls.

>> Ruin Willow: Right.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: It's gonna happen because he's not getting stimulation in the right place. That now some men can just. But, but not many, just like most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. And it's a myth that is just, I don't know what it's going to take. I'm working. You're working on it. So many of us are working on it, but it's like, this is such a base of cultural myth. It just, and it's one that's so interesting to me because it comes and goes and it comes and goes. Like, if we look at historically, right, like there's all this, all this awareness of the clitoris, then it goes underground again, then it comes up again. And I just wish it would, like, reach the cultural narrative and never go underground again.

>> Ruin Willow: I totally agree. Interviewed a woman who's a sex educator, and one, she writes songs too. And one of their lines from her songs, what she was talking about the orgasm gap, and she said, you know, she was talking to cisgender male, and she said, how would you feel if, when you had sex, your partner didn't touch your penis at all? And I thought, wow, that's really kind of mind blowing to think of that, because there are many times where a woman may have a person with a clit vulva, may not ever have that area touched. It's like that would never happen. Can you imagine having sex without your penis being touched? And that's essentially what is happening to many women vulva owners, you know?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely. Absolutely. And we don't even say the word. So how are vulva owners going to feel empowered to get the stimulation they need?

>> Ruin Willow: Absolutely.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: That is what we're doing. Yeah. I often also, I ask people to do a thought experiment, which is imagine this is for cisgender heterosexual women. I say, imagine you have a sexual encounter and you don't orgasm. How do you feel? And I mostly get like, okay, whatever. A little disappointed. Now imagine your partner does an orgasm. How do you feel? Oh, my gosh. What did I do wrong?

>> Ruin Willow: Yes.

>> Ruin Willow: Right, right.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: And it's like prioritized. It's unthinkable that the penis owner wouldn't get the stimulation or that they wouldn't orgasm. But it's just in stride that for.

>> Ruin Willow: Women and, yeah, and the orgasm equality as we're talking about this leads to the gender equality outside the bedroom as well, because we aren't valuing ourselves in our own pleasure, where many people defer for their partner to have pleasure. And then, like you said, that person who just said, no big deal, I didn't orgasm. But if their partner didn't, it's all up in arms, and I think that's disturbing. They should both be up in arms if there's no orgasm for either partner.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Exactly. It should be considered. And now that, you know, I think it should be just as okay for only one and the other to have it. Not all, you know, encounters are going to be equally pleasurable.

>> Ruin Willow: Sure.

>> Ruin Willow: Yeah.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: But when we have a pervasive pattern that half the population is the one having less orgasms, we know we've got a cultural problem. And I do think it is a reflection, as you're saying, the broader, you know, patriarchal culture. But I also have seen, like you were saying earlier, like, once you're empowered in the bedroom, people, like, think it's the opposite. Oh, get empowered and then apply it to the bedroom. I have seen so many times, and I hear you saying the same thing, that once somebody gets empowered in the bedroom, they are feeling much better outside of the bedroom as well.

>> Ruin Willow: Absolutely. I think that is so true. And it's kind of like the thing where you can't go backwards once you realize something, like you realize how you orgasm, you know, and it's important to have your own pleasure. You can't go backwards and go back and be like, oh, no, that doesn't matter anymore. I can just pleasure you and we can go back. You can't go backwards. And so you're empowered and you don't want to go backwards even more. So you don't want to go backwards when you're empowered. But, yeah, it totally spreads throughout the rest of your life and your relationship.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely, absolutely.

>> Ruin Willow: Yeah.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: and once you see this stuff, you also can't unsee it.


Do you find a lot of resistance in people to accept this concept

Once you start seeing, like, you notice this, you'll see it all around, right? Like in the movies, like we've been talking about, or women's magazine or men's magazines. Sex position for her orgasm, without even mentioning the clitoris at all and using the word sex and intercourse as if they're one and the same, you know?

>> Ruin Willow: Right.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: And the language, like, once you see our, foreplay, as if it's just the lead up to the main event. You know, you start seeing this, you just. You can't and don't want to go backwards.

>> Ruin Willow: You don't. You don't, and you just. You just get it, and you understand so much more about everything, and you're just being empowered is just. Yeah, it pervades the rest of your life.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely. Absolutely.

>> Ruin Willow: And so when you see this and you see, because you also do counseling, do you find a lot of resistance in people to accept this? Or when you're working with them, like, as a couple or one on one, do they. Do you find that they accept it, or are they just kind of like, no, that's not true. I don't believe that.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: 99.9 is relief and acceptance, both from the women and the men that I work with. every once in a while, I'll get a, like, I don't know what you were talking about. I don't believe that. That's just one theory, you know? but most of the time, because when people come to me either to learn or for therapy, it's because they want to improve their sex life difference so they're more accepting. I think, of the information, the times I've seen, you know, the 1% that are negative is usually when I'm just working with the woman partner and she takes it back to the man who didn't want, therapy in the first place. That's where I see the resistance more, but I don't. I feel very fortunate to not have seen this a lot.

>> Ruin Willow: That's good. And that makes sense because they're seeking it out. But, yeah, I can imagine, you know, a woman going back to her. Her male partner, and they'd be rejecting it, you know, like. And that's disturbing. And that's just really. Wow, talk about gaslighting here, huh? Huh?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

>> Ruin Willow: More stuff wrong in that relationship, I think, than just the sex going on, if that's how they're gonna be, you know?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Right. And in fact, I always kind of say to my students and, you know, kind of jokingly, but not really jokingly, I think, is there truth to it? If he's not clitorate in the bedroom or doesn't care about your pleasure in the bedroom, he's probably. It's a reflection of him not being a good partner overall.

>> Ruin Willow: I can totally see that being an accurate statement, for sure.

>> Ruin Willow: The word from my sponsor. Thank you, sponsor.


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There are steps women can take to prioritize their own pleasure during sex

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>> Ruin Willow: So what else can we do? I mean, we can all enjoy ourselves more. We can correct what we see and talk about it. What else can we do? I mean, I guess we can try to educate ourselves and watch more shows, talk about it. And I think one of the best ways to fight it is to have pleasure to have your own orgasm and enjoy it on a personal level.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely. Absolutely. So we've been talking a lot about the culture, but there's, you know, there's steps women can take in vulva owners to get to prioritize their own pleasure. And, you know, that's why I wrote, becoming clitorid is half feminist cultural analysis and half self help. And the self help, like, it, starts in your mind, right? Feeling entitled to orgasm, like, and being able to be mindful, like, turn off your busy self monitoring. Do I look okay? Am I performing okay? Which that shouldn't be a performance, you know? So immersing in the pleasure, looking at your vulva, finding what you have, get a mirror, get a picture, identify the parts. So there's, like, knowing what you have, educating yourself, working with your mind, and then masturbate. Masturbate vibrates, you know, lubricate. Vulvas aren't supposed to be touch dry. We know the most empirically supported technique for helping women learn to orgasm and sending them home with instructions to pleasure themselves. We also know that penises and vulvas have special receptors on them for vibration. And so a lot of times, women don't orgasm. So they have use a vibrator and then change the scripts. Use good sexual communication. Tell your partner what you need and get the same type of stimulation alone as you get with a partner. No more. Four play sex, meaning intercourse. His orgasm, it's over. Turn taking, right? Oral sex followed by, you know, intercourse, oral sex, turn taking, you know, or turn taking. Lots of fooling around. Intercourse, then the vibrator, you know, right, there's. Or you talk there. It is no less sexy if you reach your hand or your vibrator down during intercourse and touch yourself, or if you touch yourself before or after. So really making sure that you get the stimulation you need and that you feel deserving of it.

>> Ruin Willow: And I think a lot of people, including myself, I mean, I'll give my own self as an example. When I was a child, I remember being so excited, and I went to my mom. I think I was, like, in elementary school or something. And I was like, mom, guess what? My mom was a nurse, right? And she still was like this to me. I was like, mom, I just found out something amazing. When I touch between my legs, it feels really, really good. She looked at me and she said, you shouldn't be doing that. I was so ashamed that I stopped masturbating with my hands. You know what I became? I became a grinder, so I knew how to masturbate but I was following her rules of I shouldn't be touching myself. But many women like me may carry that into their, the rest of their lives and think, oh, I shouldn't touch myself during sex because that's not good for me. I'm not supposed to do that. That's supposed to be my partner doing that. So it's like all these subliminal images, messages that we get, even as a young child, and hit me when I was talking to a guest one time, why I became a grinder. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. That's why I became a grinder, because my mom told me not to touch down there.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, it's like more indirect. You're less dirty. I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I hope that you've, you know, overcome that, because it's, you know, it's not dirty, it's not bad. It's like, I really want to use science here. Right. It is the most empiric, it has the most research backing it up, that it's healthy and helps us know what we want, and it's good for, you know, self induced orgasms are good for pain relief, they're good for skin health, they're good for vaginal health. Like, all these messages that we shouldn't do it are so shaming and so damaging when it's really a, like, there. I. You'd be hard pressed to find a, sex therapist or a sex educator who wouldn't tell you that it's a really important activity.

>> Ruin Willow: Oh, absolutely. Yes. I totally broke through that. But it was like one of those things I reflected upon.


Women who use vibrators have easier and more frequent orgasms, research shows

And really what I think helps a lot of women, too, is trying out sex toys. If you don't know how to orgasm, you don't understand your body. You don't even feel. Maybe you don't feel comfortable touching it. Well, then try a toy, you know, maybe eventually you'll get to the point where you can physically touch yourself skin to skin. But toys are a huge tool for us to learn about how we orgasm if we don't know and just to continue to enjoy.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely. And the research is super clear. Women who use vibrators have easier and more frequent orgasms. And again, it's physiological. Our clitoris have receptors to vibration found nowhere else on the body. So does the penis, which I always like to tell my men, like, who are struggling with, like, I have lots of ways to talk to men about vibrator use and why it's so important and healthy. But I also say the penis is also analogous to the clitoris. You have those vibration receptors, too. So if your partner is vibrating while your penis is down there, you're going to catch some vicarious vibes, and you're going to have a good time.

>> Ruin Willow: Absolutely. I think there is a bit of that going on where. Where, men or people with penises think that the toys are just for her, just for the woman with the clit, the vulva. And it's not true.

>> Ruin Willow: Exactly.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Exactly. And, you know, they don't replace men. They don't cuddle. They don't say, I love you. They simply provide, they're not addictive. Right. They simply provide a type of pleasure and stimulation that a hand and a tongue and a penis can't give.

>> Ruin Willow: So, what do you say to the people that think that they use sex toys and it desensitizes their quit?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Such a good question. So, first of all, I have, we have to ask, what do you mean by desensitized?

>> Ruin Willow: Like, I saw a post recently where someone said they were using, sex toys so much that they. Then they, all of a sudden, they were going back with their partner again after a period of not being with their partner, and then they couldn't orgasm with their partner anymore. And they're like, oh, my gosh, I desensitized. I ruined my clit.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: No, see, that's. So sometimes by desensitizing, people mean, like, I'll go numb and.

>> Ruin Willow: Oh, sure, sure.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: You know, for that, I just, like, that's like riding a bike. Your butt goes numb.

>> Ruin Willow: Stop it.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: But that kind of desensitization is related to. To this myth that, like, you shouldn't need something external. And so my response is twofold, then bring your vibrator to the encounter with your partner. If you always need a vibrator, so what? Just use it as a tool. And we, you know, it's an. I know it's a little different. Cause it's a tool and it's external. It's not a body part, but taking a zoom back. Right. Like, we never tell men, don't get used to intercourse. Don't get used to a hand job. Don't get used to a blow job, because you might always need that.

>> Ruin Willow: Right.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Only when it comes to women and vibrators do we say that. and I think that needs to stop. If you. If you like your vibrator, bring it along to the encounter.

>> Ruin Willow: That's so true. I never thought about that, but it's true. That is totally how it goes. People say those things that was so disturbing, isn't it?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: It's, again, one of those once you see it.

>> Ruin Willow: Exactly.


There's a lot of talk about different types of female orgasm

So I always see a lot of different things about people talking about different types of female orgasm. Do you think that there are certain number of types of orgasms? Or what do you think about that whole talk about different types of orgasms and how many there are and all that?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: So I think there's different, there's like four. There's several camps in the scientific community. There's those that say there are different types depending on the stimulation, right? Vaginal g spot, clitoral. And there's some good evidence for why. Then there's another camp that says, like, no matter where the stimulation, all orgasms are clitoral because the internal clearest, and it's erectile functioning is involved. And then there's others that say, it's time we start calling the entire genital region. Let's not break it down into these parts. Let's call it one unit. And in fact, O'Connell set, who is, who was the first to map the internal clitoris, says, let's call it all a clitoris because it's the biggest. I think it's a, very interesting scientific question for sex nerds and therapists and researchers and people who want to help people with spinal cord injury find other ways of pleasure. But I think the attention to the question in culture puts. Creates an orgasm hierarchy. Oh, like, yeah, there's different kinds, and this one's better. You should get it. Or like, oh, my gosh, you haven't tried the 20 different kinds. What's wrong with you? You know, I think it's another way we make women feel bad about themselves and the media attention to it and the way it's framed and, you know, we don't talk about the, you know, only when it comes to people with vulvas do we name the orgasm by the type and point of stimulation. We don't do that with men. We don't say, oh, did you have a blowjob or an intercourse orgasm?

>> Ruin Willow: Right? So true.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: It's only for us that we do that. And I think it creates this difference, equal deficit mentality that one is better than the other.

>> Ruin Willow: Wow. That is so mind blowing and so true. You're just so spot on with that.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Thank you.

>> Ruin Willow: Yeah, something like I had never thought of. I've been conditioned by our society as well. I've never said, oh, you had a good blowjob orgasm. Like, that's like a weird thing to say. You wouldn't even say that. Right.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: But with women. Oh, did you have a vaginal or a clitoral? Like, we name it by the type, the point of stimulation.

>> Ruin Willow: Right. And then I do believe that there is a gradient of orgasm. You can have a hard one, a strong one, you know, all the way down to a really mild one. But, yeah, it's. It's a gradient. It doesn't have to be. Why do we have to name it? It's just a strength. It's not.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, that's a different issue. Right. The strength. Some are like little sneezes, some are like earthquakes and everything in between, and they're all time. But that's. That's. That's a whole different thing than, you know, debating the types and saying which is better, you know?

>> Ruin Willow: Right, right. And it's all subjective, so it's kind of silly. We do that anyways because every woman's body is different.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Exactly, exactly.


Jack Annan says 80% of sexual problems can be solved without therapy

>> Ruin Willow: So I saw somewhere that you talk about what a proven pathway is to solving as many as 80% of sexual problems. What is that? I'm really curious what you have to say about that.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: So that's actually not my model. That comes from. It's called the plicit model, and it's from Jack Annan in 1974, and it's a long standing model in the sex therapy field. The p is for permission, the LI is for limited information, the SS is for specific suggestions, and basically. And the. It is for intensive therapy. And basically, Annan hypothesized in the research backs it up that over 80% to 90% of sexual problems can be solved without intensive therapy, and only need permission, limited information and specific suggestions, which is why books and apps work really well for sexual problems. Now, certainly things that are, like, sexual pain is a medical disorder, vaginismus, which is the clamping of the vagina that requires psychological, medical, pelvic floor treatment. It's often due to anxiety or trauma. Like, all of that stuff. Yes, intensive therapy, but most of our problems. So let me give you an example. You know, a woman who says, like, I've been having sexual encounters without feeling horny, but it's good when it gets going, then permission. You know what? Keep doing that then, because that's actually an actual model of sexual response for women. You're not broken. Just keep doing it. Limited information. Like, did you know that only four to 18% of women orgasm from penetration alone? You know, or specific suggestions like masturbate to figure out what you want and then tell your partner or touch your clitoris during intercourse. Because of our dearth of sex education and accurate information, a lot of times that's all that's needed is the permission, information, and suggestions.

>> Ruin Willow: M I like that. That makes a lot of sense.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. And it's, you know, I find it. I get calls sometime for people who want to see me in therapy, and I can take care of it in five minutes and say, I don't need. I don't need to waste your money, you know, penises and, you know, and vulvas. You know, I'm calling you because I can't orgasm. What do you mean you can't orgasm? Well, I can never orgasm during intercourse. Okay? That's normal. You don't need to see me keep, you know, like, you know, I mean, I sang it a little flippantly. It doesn't. It's not usually 2 seconds like that.

>> Ruin Willow: Right. Right.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: So many times people are feel that they're broken and they need more help than they just need sex. Positive, scientifically sound information.

>> Ruin Willow: Right. And communication. Like, if they're. They're masturbating on their own and they climax, but they don't with their partner, and it's just a communication. Communication gap, but they just fix it, talk about it, you know?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Exactly. Exactly. Totally.

>> Ruin Willow: That's got to be a relief for some people. Like, you know, some people, if, you do hear that out in the world, like, I don't know how to orgasm or it's hard for me to orgasm, I m have to learn how to, have to learn how to orgasm. I mean, do we really need to learn how to orgasm? Or is it just paying attention to our bodies and getting rid of those old shameful scripts?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, it's getting rid of the shameful scripts and listening to our bodies. Mindfully listening to our bodies without these shameful judgments.

>> Ruin Willow: Absolutely.


The biggest concern I see among younger women is inability to orgasm with partner

What kind of tips do you give to women specifically for sprucing up their sex lives?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: So, I mean, I always tell, and, you know, people like, especially, you know, the biggest concern I see among younger women is inability to orgasm with a partner. And the biggest thing I see among, like, 35, 40, and up in long term relationships is no sex drive and being tired, too tired for sex, blah, blah. Which is so common because of a lot of reasons which I can get into. But the bottom line is that, sometimes you have to ask, are you too tired for sex, or are you tired of the sex you're having? And you can do so much to spruce up your sex life. I mean, a new toy, new lubricants a blindfold. You can get some games online. It's like Babeland or good vibrations, you know, roll the dice. I do this to you? Roll the dice, you do this to me. There's even apps and such. So just, I always tell people, don't do anything. You would find, aversive, but do stretch your boundaries and try new things.

>> Ruin Willow: I think too, you know? Yeah. You have to have a partner that's open to that. And that can be a problem for some people where they're not open to trying new things or they're just like scared of that.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely, absolutely. That is definitely true. That's definitely true. And so, you know, having, you know, and if that's where sex therapy can come in, if one partner is like, I really want to do this, and I really, he won't even, or she won't even consider it. You might need a couple sessions with a sex therapist to kind of have a safe space to talk about things.

>> Ruin Willow: Absolutely. I mean, and I've talked to, because some people talk to me and ask me advice and stuff because I do this podcast, you know, I had one man telling me how his wife was actually scared of sex toys.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, yeah, I've heard that too. I've heard, I've talked to many men who are like, oh, yeah. Like I, you know, I want my wife to do this, you know, but, you know, she won't. And that's like, that would be another case for a sex therapist.

>> Ruin Willow: Right.

>> Ruin Willow: And that's education, that's getting rid of that old script thinking that sex toys are bad or evil or only, you know, slutty people use them or something silly like that, you know, like they have this like block in their brain that's preventing them. And, you know, and I think when people say they don't have much of, I mean, I'm not an expert, I haven't been trained in all this, but when, when women say they aren't interested in sex and don't have a libido, I think it's more the fact that they're not orgasming. Because who doesn't like orgasms?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, yeah. I mean, a lot of times if sex isn't fun, you won't be driven towards it, I think is one thing. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Who wants to do something that's not fun? It's all a continuum, right?

>> Ruin Willow: They need to experience some pleasure and if you can get them to, you know, and if they're not orgasming, you know. Yeah. They're not gonna be like oh, yeah, let's have sex. You know, what's. What are they gonna get out of it? They're gonna get closeness. Maybe they're gonna get intimacy, but they're not gonna get a big orgasm. You can get closeness sitting on the couch watching a show. You can get that. You don't need sex for that. You know what I mean? But, you know, the sex toy would get you that extra pleasure. That would be like, oh, You know what? I really like sex. This is making me feel amazing. So they're missing out. I feel like those women that have. That are just missing out, and it makes me sad.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, well, maybe they'll listen to this podcast and won't miss out anymore.


Sex toy use increased over COVID, which is fantastic

>> Ruin Willow: Exactly. And the other thing I like to say. Cause I've done quite a few sex toy reviews from companies and whatnot. Some people will try one sex toy, and they're like, I don't like them. They don't do anything for me. You know, every woman's body is different. We need to try different ones to find out which one works the best. So if you just try one, that's like trying one bite of vanilla ice cream and then saying, you don't like ice cream, and you never try it again. It's stupid.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Agreed. And I also tell people then, when you find the one you love, buy two or three.

>> Ruin Willow: Yes.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: I have a friend who works at a sex toy store, and he says people come in, like, holding and, you know, 20 year old vibrator that broke. You still carry.

>> Ruin Willow: I think the sex toy industry is booming, though, right? Like, there's so many new ones coming out all the time. It's fantastic.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: It is fantastic. It is fantastic. And we do know that sex toy use increased over COVID, which is. Yes, yes.

>> Ruin Willow: I interviewed a woman that wrote a book, and she works in a sex toy store, and she said that, too. She's like. She's like, we couldn't believe how many orders just skyrocketed during COVID for sex toys. She's like, it was just. It was almost mind blowing. We couldn't even, like, keep up. And I'm like, wow, that's great.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Exactly. It's really great. Really great. That's a positive benefit. And I hope it stays of the pandemic.

>> Ruin Willow: Oh, I hope so, too. I mean, and I think it's true. It probably will, because it's the same thing. Once you know, you can't unknow. Once you see, you can't unsee, you can't go backwards.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. I could not agree more.


Do you have a sex toy you recommend to people that you find to be the best

>> Ruin Willow: Do you have a sex toy you recommend to people that you find to be the best?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Well, I. Like you said, everybody's body's different. But my favorite toys are by Lilo. They are amazing.

>> Ruin Willow: Okay.

>> Ruin Willow: Yeah, I've heard of that company. I haven't tried them yet, but. How do you spell that?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Give it a try. They're amazing. They have so many different ones and really high quality. They're made of medical grade silicone, which the thing is that means you can use them with silicone lube. Unlike many silicone sex toys that they get goofy. And silicone lube is really good because it's long lasting and slippery.

>> Ruin Willow: So how do you spell that?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: L e l o. Lilo.

>> Ruin Willow: Oh, Lilo. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking it was. I thought you said melo. Okay, Lilo.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Okay, Lilo. Yeah.

>> Ruin Willow: Yeah. I have heard of that one. Okay. Yeah. And you're not supposed to use silicone lube with certain. I heard that you're not supposed to use it with certain sex toys because it like an adhere or something like that.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. It'll change the consistency. Gets sticky, gummy. But that's not true with Lilo toys or any toys made with silicone quality, medical grade silicone. They're also easier to clean. Toys that are made of, like, porous material don't clean as well. Pass germs more. So that's why I really like Lilo toys. They're high quality and they're better in terms of use with silicone lubricant and being able to clean them better.

>> Ruin Willow: Yeah. The cleaning one is important, too, because especially some of those that have, like, you know, folds or, you know, indents and whatnot. You know that crevices.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Absolutely. Exactly.

>> Ruin Willow: Do you usually tell people to wash?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Well, you can wash with warm soapy water is one way, or you can. And dry them off and store your toys in a bag. the other thing I like, lilo, is they come with these really nice bags. But you can use a baggie, too. You shouldn't just throw all your sex toys together in the drawer because if one is carrying bacteria, it'll rub off on the other.

>> Ruin Willow: So, side.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: You can just, you know, warm soapy water. and then dry it off. But there's also sex toy cleaners that are made specifically for sex toys. Often you spray it on. You leave it on for about 5 seconds and then you wipe it off.

>> Ruin Willow: And then do you usually. I mean, it's probably better to have them air dry, right? I mean, you could dry them off, but also not like. Or do you put them in a bag right away? I just worry about, like, if there's moisture on them still and you put.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Them in a bag, they can air dry. You can dry them off as long as they're dry before you put. Put them away. Right.

>> Ruin Willow: And they're.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: They're special, like, sex toy cleaner machines. They're expensive. You don't really need them. Some sex toys can go in the dishwasher without soap, but I think hot soapy water or. Personally, I use. I personally have, like, a two drawers full of sex toy. And Lilo also has a sex toy cleaner and spray, and that's what I use.

>> Ruin Willow: Oh, nice. That's nice. Yeah. Because, you know, sometimes people worry about, you know, putting something inside their body, like, you know. Yeah. You don't want to, like, mess with your flora and your vagina and give yourself an infection. So you got to be careful.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Right. So that's why they're wonderful. They shouldn't be shared between partners. Like, two people with vulva shouldn't just pass a toy back and forth and, you know, all the safety precautions and don't put it in your anus and then your vagina. Like, I mean, a lot of it's common sense, actually.

>> Ruin Willow: Right, absolutely.


But it's still important to say. Right? Yeah, it still needs to be said

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: But it's still important to say. Right.

>> Ruin Willow: You know, it still needs to be said. Right? Yeah, it's like one of those things. Once you hear it, you can't unhear it. So now, you know, don't do that.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Exactly. Exactly.


You had an article about four techniques women use to enhance pleasure during intercourse

>> Ruin Willow: So I noticed that you had an article, four techniques women use to enhance pleasure during intercourse. Could you share one of our, two of those with us? I know we've talked a lot about it, but if there's any other piece that you want to add that we didn't touch on.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Well, that came from a study that was done by the folks who. Who created OMG. Yes. So I just wrote about this study. I didn't conduct it. And they interviewed women and asked, how do you enhance pleasure during intercourse? And there were four techniques. I can't remember all of them right now. Sorry. But I do remember that three of them had to do with making sure people their clitoris was being stimulated, like angling body in a certain way, you know, that kind of thing. And then there was also one about inserting the penis only a little bit. And that's because the vulva in the vagina has touch and pressure sensitive nerve endings, and the vaginal opening and the inner third has touch sensitive nerve endings, whereas the outer inner two thirds has pressure sensitive nerve endings. So a lot of people with vulvas and vaginas find just like a little bit of entry, really. So a lot of it just comes down to knowing where your touch sensitive nerve endings are. And that's why they found these four techniques. And they were all associated with clitoral stimulation or that one with, with, in my, you know, light insertion, basically.

>> Ruin Willow: That's really interesting too, because that plays into the whole thing of men being worried if their penis is big enough or long enough. And you've got these little tiny sex toys that are like, you know, three inches long and they're pleasurable. So. And I know a lot of men get worried about that. People, penis owners get worried about that. But if you think about it, it's not, most of the pleasure isn't, is not way in there, you know?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Exactly. And that's why, you know, men knowing this and becoming clitoris important too, because it takes the pressure off of them. And the great irony is what men think, oh, am I big enough? And I've heard so many women say, I hope he's not too big because it could hurt, you know?

>> Ruin Willow: Right. Yep. Yep.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: So it's another mythical and great irony that education could really solve and help a lot.


Many people don't realize how large the clitoris really is

>> Ruin Willow: Which brings me to the point. We haven't really talked much about the anatomy of the clit. And somebody I, interviewed recently told me that there's, she was reading some study about how the clit was dissected and how, how big it is. And many people don't realize how large the clitoris really is. Would you talk about that?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. The clitoris is a vast internal and external organ. And it's got the hood and the glands are the only part you can feel externally. But it's got legs and bulbs that run up through what's called the mountain's pubis and surround the vaginal canal. It's massive and it gets up to 300 times its size. When you're aroused. Chock full of erectile tissue. I, mean it's, it's really massive. Internal and external organ. Again, chock full of erectile tissue.

>> Ruin Willow: Did you say 300% bigger?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: You can get 300 times its size during an erection. It gets an erection?

>> Ruin Willow: Oh my gosh.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, yeah.

>> Ruin Willow: We have never heard that.

>> Ruin Willow: Stat.

>> Ruin Willow: That's unbelievable.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where our tissue is in the clitoris now.

>> Ruin Willow: And what I wonder what, how that is analogous to the penis. Like, you know, they get penis get 300% bigger too.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: I have no idea. Well, I know, there's growers and showers, that's for sure. If a penis starts out small, it'll get bigger. If it starts out bigger, it won't get as large, you know, so.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: But I haven't seen that research. But what is also interesting is what we call the G spot isn't a spot at all. It includes parts of our anatomy. It includes the urethral sponge, it's called. It includes part of the vaginal wall and it includes the legs of the clitoris. So even G spot, quote, orgasms involve the clitoris, the internal clitoris.

>> Ruin Willow: I think it's interesting because. Yeah, I've seen pictures of it. How it's like. Yeah, it's like, It's like this network. It's not. You can't even really think of it like a penis because it's got all these like different parts coming off of it. Like it's arms and bulbs. Like you said, it's. It's just. It's not just like a stick. Like a penis.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Exactly, exactly. It's.

>> Ruin Willow: I think a lot of women don't know what it looks like, too.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. Either. Yeah. So it's really important to understand that and to know our own anatomy, both internally and externally.

>> Ruin Willow: Absolutely. I was interviewing a, woman recently, and she had gone to the doctor, and she's. She writes about sexuality as well. And she's like. I was like almost offended. Not almost, I was offended. They had a, draw diagram, like a plastic diagram of the female reproductive system, and there was no clit on it. And like, you would never. We were joking. You would never see, such a diagram of a part, you know, a male or a person with a penis that didn't have a penis on it.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Right. It's like without the head of the penis. Right? Yeah. Yeah. if you search. I've done this. Like, it's getting. Like when I was writing my book, I searched WebMD and I put in the word clitoris. And all I that came up are clitoral adhesions, clitoral piercings. Literal, you know, all these things. And, you put in vagina and you see the vagina. Like, the clitoris is like left out even of medical textbooks. It's just crazy.

>> Ruin Willow: It's disturbing.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Very, very, horribly disturbing.

>> Ruin Willow: And I think it's really sad that, you know, children are still being educated now and then. They're not even told about this kind of stuff.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: It's just.

>> Ruin Willow: It's really sad.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yeah. We tell lies in sex ed and we omit information. The Society of Adolescent Medicine said that our current sex ed is a, human rights violation because humans are entitled to accurate medical information, and we're not getting or giving that exactly.

>> Ruin Willow: Exactly. Really, really horrible.


Doctor Lori Mintz talks about how to have better sex on this podcast

well, this has been awesome. This has been amazing. You are just amazing work. You have amazing things to say. Just incredible. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about that we haven't touched on yet or anything else you'd like to, mention so much?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: And I'm so appreciative of the conversation.

>> Ruin Willow: We have, and so people can find you@drlaurimince.com. And you're on Instagram. What's your handle on Instagram?

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: My handle on, Instagram. Facebook is all the same. The same as my website. It's doctor Lori Mintz. drlauriemintz. And then your books become a tired.

>> Ruin Willow: Woman'S guide to passionate sex. Are they available on Amazon? I've already seen that. Other sellers as well.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Yep. Anywhere books are found. A tired woman's guide to passionate sex is only available now in kindle, but becoming clitorid is available in all formats, audio, paperback, kindle.

>> Ruin Willow: Awesome. Well, thank you so much. You're amazing, and I'm so excited you came on my show. Thank you so much.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: Well, thank you for having me. Thank you so very much.

>> Ruin Willow: You have an amazing day.

>> Dr. Laurie Mintz: You too. Thanks.

>> Ruin Willow: Okay, bye bye. I want to thank you for listening to this episode. I hope you found it amazing, interesting, and we'll help you have better sex. That's what this is all about, right? I love promoting you having better sex. Let's go out there and fucking do it. Take her advice.

>> Ruin Willow: Do it.

>> Ruin Willow: You will be happy, your partner will be happy, and you will have lots and lots of one good, hot, sexy fucking sex. Oh, fuck, yeah. Don't forget to check out Doctor Lori down in the podcast notes. You can find her links to wherever she is. She's also on Instagram, so check her out. And I hope you have an amazing day. And don't forget to nominate in the Golden Pigtail Smut award. And then in February, don't forget to go back and vote for your favorites. Again, my links are down in the podcast notes, so you can find all where my stuff is available online, all of my erotica, my ebooks, my audiobooks, where I narrate for myself and for other authors. And don't forget, you can check out my recent chat with the podcasters at 69 Whiskey pod. And we had an amazing chat. And the exciting news is that they're gonna actually narrate a book with me, so I'm really, really excited. Actually, they're narrating two books with me of my work, so they're gonna play the male part. So I'm so excited. You gotta check that out. I'll put the link to that down.

>> Ruin Willow: In the podcast notes so you can.

>> Ruin Willow: Listen to our chat and start getting excited about. We're gonna do an audiobook, two audiobooks together. So excited. It's gonna be so fucking hot.


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