Girl Talk about Sex, Female Anatomy, Sexuality, Empowerment, Relationships, & Culture with Stripper & Podcaster Sarah Hughes

Ep 316: Girl Talk about Sex, Female Anatomy, Sexuality, Empowerment, Relationships, & Culture with Stripper & Podcaster Sarah Hughes. We had such a fun girls' sex chat! If you like listening to two open-minded women talk about sex and relationships, you will love this episode! We talked a lot about female sexual organ anatomy, including the clitoris, g spot, anal sex, anal bleaching (should anyone really do this?), female sexual empowerment, relationships, and sex. We focused on how women need to take the time to learn about their bodies, explore themselves, and really dedicate time and energy to grow, expand, and fully enjoy their sexuality and their bodies, AND that can lead to the enjoyment of time with partners as well. Go team women! Take that power!

We talked about how women aren't taught about our clitoris/female sex organs, we aren't informed what the clit actually looks like (it's big! and goes internally as well, and has legs and lobes that stretch and swell, it's NOT JUST an external bean!). We expressed how important it is for women to explore without feeling embarrassment, guilt, or shame...or being told "it's weird" or "not normal" by our partners and those in our lives.

We need to acknowledge that men and women are cultured differently in our culture and it's not a good thing. Men are made to feel they can't feel emotions and women are taught to ignore/downplay their sexuality, while each of the sexes are "allowed" culturally to express the opposite. We need to stop this cycle! All human bodies feel everything, including sexual pleasure, and all humans feel emotions! We need to stop boxing people in!

Sarah is the host of the Sex and Bacon podcast, which is all about sex positivity and discussing social stigmas around taboo topics. Sarah has seen and experienced first hand the shame and judgement women feel working in various entertainment and sex industries and the affects it has on them personally. She shares personal stories without shame or fear of judgement and her journey to getting to where she is now with her own Sexuality and the hurdles she faced along the way.

Connect with Sarah on Instagram at confessionsofafuckaholic and here:
https://linktr.ee/sexandbacon

Check out my latest releases!
Neighborhood Sex Secrets:
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https://amzn.to/3CVxzw8
Decadent Erotica: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/decadenteroticaaudiobook
Ruan's Books, Audiobooks: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/
She Dominated Him Out of a Speeding Ticket:
https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/shedominatedhimoutofaspeedingticketaudiobook

The Limo Sex Challenge Buy here:

Transcript

Episode 319. 3rd season. Transcript created by Substack. Questions? Email ruanwillow@gmail.com

Hello this is Ruan Willow with the Oh Fck Yeah with Ruan Willow podcast.

I'm super excited you're here.

Yes, I am, baby.

I love it when you listen to my podcast because I talk about sex and sexuality.

I want you to have better sex, better fcking.

That said, for under 18, it is time to leave the podcast now because we're talking about sex and I'm using the word fck.

I've already said that several times in the first few seconds.

Oops.

That's because it's a dang good word, right?

Best word in the English language, baby.

Okay.

I talk about sex and sexuality and erotica, things to help you have better sex.

Today, I have an awesome interview with Sarah Hughes of the Sex and Bacon podcast.

That's right.

And we get into why she called it that in the interview, the Sex and Bacon podcast, which is all about sex positivity and discussing social stigmas around taboo topics.

Sarah has seen and experienced firsthand the shame and judgment women feel working in various entertainment and sex industries.

and the effects it has on them personally.

She shares personal stories with shame or fear of judgment and her journey to getting to where she is now with her own sexuality and the hurdles she faced along the way.

She is a self-confessed fckaholic.

There I used a word again.

and her and I had an amazing chat.

She's on Instagram, Confessions of a Fckaholic.

We talked a lot about women and sexuality and her history in sexuality as a job.

So stay tuned for that.

Don't forget to check out my new books that are live and that is Neighborhood Sex Secrets is my latest book that just went live and you can find that on Amazon.

I've got lots of books on Amazon and they tend to come out on Spotify first so you can watch.

I have a bunch of codes for Spotify for free books.

Decadent Erotica just came out over six hours.

I narrated with

3 very sexy voice over male actors, artists so get in contact with me RuanWillow at gmail.com if you'd like a code I get to give them away for free because we are trying to gain reviews so I hope that you could give me a review

and I'm excited to say that I am also my podcast is now on Roku TV and Fire TV through the front also through online through the front layer website so if you happen to have a Roku device or Fire TV my podcast is there as well so exciting and Full Swap Radio always is still on Full Swap Radio on Tuesdays and Wednesdays also and thank you to my sponsors

Always gonna thank my sponsors Manscaped you want to have more Skin smacks in the bedroom, baby.

Shave your balls and you will get them It's a different sensation if you haven't done it before but they have all the amazing manscaping tools For you to use and you can get 20% off and free shipping with my promo code Ruan Willow 20

and 10% off Kiiroo Sex Toys.

They have sex toys for men and for women.

I have my pearls which I just absolutely love.

I have the pink and the blue.

They're very strong and lovely and they're shaped wonderfully and they have a lot of male sex toys as well.

They're up for some awards through I think AVN so that's so exciting.

Thank you for listening and let's fcking go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Hello, everyone.

I'm really excited to talk to this person and find out all she has to say.

She's also a podcaster.

So that's always so much fun.

Welcome, Sarah Hughes.

How are you doing today?

I'm good.

Thank you for having me.

I'm excited to see what kind of conversation we get into today.

Absolutely.

I always love talking about sex.

So it's so much fun.

That's true.

Never seems to go wrong, right?

There's so many different ways you can go.

But tell me about your name of your podcast.

I love that.

And how did you come up with that name?

Okay, it's kind of funny.

Everybody asks that.

It's okay.

So on the back of my neck,

I do have two tattoos and the first one is a Chinese symbol that I got when I was probably 16 or 17 years old too young to be getting tattoos but back then they didn't check ID and it says sex so I have that and then right underneath I do have a querious

like lines and I mean they're old because I'm now significantly older than when I first got them and people at work thought that they were bacon strips recently so there was this ongoing joke that I was going to start an OnlyFans all food based and I was going to call it Sexy Bacon

and so it just I ended up obviously not doing a food based only event and did a podcast and so it was just like sex and bacon and then kind of like the play on words you know what do women talk about first thing in the morning with their friends usually sex so it's like over breakfast the significance of you know you're sharing a meal with somebody and you know sex and bacon so

I love it.

That's a pretty unique story too.

I mean that your tattoo look like bacon and I figured it was something that you love, like you love sex and you love bacon or just, you know, indulgent words or, you know.

Okay.

Well, I do like sex, but I, and I, okay.

So funny enough, like I, I eat 99%, I shouldn't say 99, 90% I eat vegetarian.

And I've always told my friends bacon is its own food group and it does not count.

So I can eat bacon because it's not a meat.

It's just its own food group.

And so I mean, I do kind of really like bacon.

So it worked out.

That makes me laugh because I am a vegetarian, but I don't eat bacon, but I am a vegetarian.

So that I get where you're coming from.

Totally.

Yeah.

So tell me about your background a little bit that brought you to doing this podcast.

okay so when i was really young i don't know why at a very young age i always had this like weird interest in like sex and women and nudity and i was just drawn to it and i used to again at a very underage age of like 15 16 17 hang out at strip clubs and i was always mesmerized by like the women and i thought like

I would just wish one day I was beautiful enough to you know be a stripper and I just idolized them and then fast forward I was a waitress in a strip club that's due to car accidents then I ended up working parties bachelor parties doing topless waitressing the poker parties which then obviously that evolved into you know working doing you know stripping and mostly private parties some clubs out east in like Ontario and I did it for like over 10 years but like

I think it's just like I always just felt so like judged and the shame and the guilt and just like that heavy weight of the world that like you didn't kind of belong and you know you're the outcast and all this stuff and it's like you had to be embarrassed about and all this all the heavy stigmas that go along with like that industry and so then I got out of it because people said like you have to eventually grow up and you have to eventually do something like normal which I completely regret and I wish I would have just embraced loving it

So I did and I just got caught in like that whole spiral of like trying to find a job that you enjoy something that like you want to do something that made you feel passion you know and I never could and then I just always looking for an outlet but it was always somewhere somehow sex industry driven whether it's you know sell your feet

Go out with some sugar daddies, try something, you know, OnlyFans, pictures this, parties.

I was always drawn back to it.

And I just got to the point where it's like I stopped caring about people's thoughts.

And I just thought, you know, sharing about this stuff and doing a podcast and talking to other people and just having open, honest dialogue, everything to do with sex, sex industry, everything.

It was just like one way for me to kind of put out there genuinely what I actually believe in and like who I am.

So.

I love that and I identified with like a lot of what you said you know even from the idolizing strippers and thinking how sexy is that that they're so open sexually that they can like ooze their sexuality over an entire audience and you know I'm sure there's times where they don't enjoy it but you know there's times when they do right I mean do you feel like there were times you enjoy yeah and then you got it was exciting and you were sharing your sexuality it wasn't just for them only right I mean that's

Maybe I romanticized it but you know I feel like you've got to have some sort of handle on your sexuality in a different way than other people if you're able to do that kind of thing and you're more open with sharing yourself with other people and I wish we were more open I mean I feel like we're just very closed off and it's like you talked about shame and society's opinions and all of that we're just so trapped in that

Oh yeah and I feel like women are typically harder on other women and like that's I think the thing that it's like I felt more judged probably by the women that I was surrounded with or the women not in that industry and like that was like the thing but like this is just how crazy it is like I'm now in my 40s I had done it for oh god you know 10 years still have friends in the life the lifestyles of all the things and I still to this day and it's

I went two weekends ago to work a bachelorette party and I was hired to come and do a to teach them how to do a striptease essentially and I was like it's like a workshop and like in my mind I was like I fck it I don't care like sure I'll go hustle it's a couple hundred bucks you know but going into that it's like you have that self-conscious moment of like oh they're going to judge me this this whatever and I walked into this house and I mean

it was literally like I don't know like 10 Barbie girls that just like it's like threw up beauty and elegance and I was just like oh fck here we go and like because I don't see myself as that right like we just don't see ourselves in a beautiful way like what other people see us and I was like great this is gonna suck

and like funny enough it was like they were the most amazing friendly women and like i'm teaching them how to do a lap dance and stuff because i mean like i'm here to do the job whether i felt like they were prettier than me or whatever and it's funny because like as i'm teaching them they're like oh my god like you just lose confidence and i was like in my mind i'm like no i don't oh

They're like I would feel so like silly like I don't know if my husband would think I looked beautiful or sexy doing this and then I just realized like as much as what we think that they're judging us it's like in that moment we're judging ourselves but then we're also judging them right and like you guys think I look elegant and beautiful and sexy and confident rolling around on the floor and I think you guys to look at are so gorgeous beautiful elegant and sexy that it's like wouldn't even cross my mind to think you don't have the confidence to

give like your partner a little lap dance because you just look the part right but it's yeah it's crazy how we just think those things right

That is really interesting and I can totally appreciate what you're saying but that makes perfect sense and you know and maybe you're able to do what you do because you have all of your experience so to them you look really confident and just having the experience of doing it it's going to make it easier for you to do but you know that brings up a good point that really make it seems really sad to me is that that tells me that those women aren't necessarily supported or loved or complimented nearly enough

because if you feel like your spouse or your partner really thinks you're hot, you're not going to worry about, Oh, is my husband going to like this?

You're going to go, you know what I mean?

So they're, they're missing stuff in their relationships.

And I see this all the time too, where there isn't that, that, I don't know what you call it.

That sexiness, the, the turn on.

yeah they're not being told hey you're you're sexy i want to fck you you know what i mean like questioning it oh yeah because we get so complacent you find each other attractive beautiful and you're young you have great sex and but i also feel like great sex to one person compared to great sex to somebody else when you know no different and if you are young and you got in a relationship at a young age and you've been together for a while

You know your idea of kink could be my idea of like vanilla.

That's what I did when I was 19, you know So like when you don't people aren't always on the same page with those things and they think they're doing is just fine So they don't even realize there's an aspect of sexiness or you know sex appeal missing from their relationship and their sex life because they have nothing to compare it to and

And because sex is not talked about, fetishes aren't talked about, kink isn't talked about, all of these things are still judged and looked at as like that's fcking weird if you want to do anal this.

I'm sorry you want to put that where?

What would I do with that toy?

Like some of these women don't even have vibrators.

They've never, you know, used once.

and so to think that in their relationship there's going to be that element like you said of you know sexiness probably don't even know what that is you know right and you bring up a good point that a lot of people don't know about sex toys and you know i used to be one of those people like i did not get my first sex toy until oh i don't know maybe three four years ago so i went the majority of my life

not having a sex toy and now I have like 60 like I have gone the complete opposite way and I have all these people giving me free sex toys to review I'm an ambassador for a sex toy company there's most people aren't like me that if they didn't have sex toy their whole life they don't all of a sudden go crazy like I did but they're really missing out do you know what I mean they're really missing out and some women are even scared of them

Totally like we don't take ownership.

Most women don't take ownership over their own sexuality, masturbation, self-pleasure.

They don't know what it looks like.

They don't know how to achieve it.

They're embarrassed to talk about it.

They're embarrassed to touch themselves.

Like there's just such a closed

Like it's just like you're they're closed off to it.

They feel that internal, you know, weirdness and guilt or embarrassment because that's what they were brought up with.

Like good girls don't do that, you know, especially if you're brought up in religion.

Oh, for sure, for sure.

And I think about the contrast of what men are brought up in.

It's joked about boys masturbating and jerking off.

Ruan Willow

just keeps happening.

It keeps perpetuating.

So I'm so glad that you and I can talk about this and we can podcast out there so that we don't keep perpetuating this thing, this awful dread over our whole world.

I never even thought about that before.

When you just said that, like it's always talked about like boys, you know, wet dreams and masturbation, but you're right.

Nobody ever talks about young girls touching themselves, masturbating.

Wow.

I didn't even think about it.

It's like as if we don't get horny.

Like, you know, we don't have those same impulses and urges.

We don't have a clip that has a million nerves and gets stimulated when you rub up against it or panties rub on it or like, just think that like we don't even deserve the acknowledgement that, you know, our body parts and our hormones create the same sort of urges and feelings is actually really sad.

and it really creates this false belief that the clitoris is different than the penis when really they're very much the same thing only it's the clitoris is embedded inside the woman for the most part but literally they come from the same cells they differentiate I mean they even start out as the same damn fucking organ until they start to differentiate you know like and most people don't realize how large the clit really is

and so we're seen as like this separate thing or like this anomaly that doesn't have these sexual feelings.

I mean to illustrate this we see young girls touching themselves like I'll give I'll give my example I always tell this story when I was maybe in elementary school I realized how wonderful it felt to touch my clit and I was so innocent I was so excited I ran to my mom and I'm like

I'm not going to believe this.

It feels amazing when I touch between my legs.

And she looked at me and said, you shouldn't be doing that.

Shut me down for masturbation.

And so you know what I did?

I decided I was going to be a grinder.

So I started to grind on pillows and stuffed animals.

I became a fcking grinder.

I was still baying.

I wasn't touching it, but I was still getting off.

Now see, would you say that to a boy?

No, you wouldn't.

He would just be like the door.

They'd say, Oh, just shut the door.

You don't have to, you know, they wouldn't look at you and say, young bodies, the parts still feel right.

Your hand still feels.

Why do we think our clit doesn't feel?

I mean, young children can feel their sexual organs.

Get over it people.

It's a biological fact, but it's taboo, especially for girls.

I love that for you though, that you just were like, okay, we'll touch it.

I'll just find something else to touch it.

I really didn't realize that until recently.

I mean, ever since I've been doing this podcast and talking to people, that's when it really hit me that that was my course and that's why I did that.

So I found my way around it and I did it, but you know, I still, for me too, I still didn't really understand what an orgasm was.

I didn't understand all that stuff that we aren't taught.

In fact, when I had sex, I don't even think the word clitoris was something they said, but of course they said penis.

Yeah, you know, yeah, I literally learned probably two months ago that my clit has legs.

I didn't even know that yes, and did like a whole other part of like my body and you could touch in different areas to like, stimulate it and engorge it like I've literally just learned these things.

And like and I think that I was like, I've been a horny person having sex for decades upon decades.

And I didn't even know these things because yes, who the fck teaches you that?

you know but like people should be taught that you know people should be taught their anatomy what the nerves do what the pleasure can feel like what it maybe won't feel like for some women different things i like i just learned that you can also have uh cervical orgasms yeah you know like there are so many different ways that we can have pleasure but we have to be willing to like touch ourselves

Right and if we can't touch ourselves and we can't discover those things for ourselves how can we relay that information to a partner and how can we have our partner touch ourselves touch us like that and recreate those things but think of how beautiful it would be if you knew those things about yourself you could share it with your partner you're connecting in such an intimate way knowing each other in such depth

like who doesn't want that sexual connection with somebody you know exactly and so many people feel so much shame they don't even feel like they can talk about that you know like oh yeah number one they feel like they can't explore their bodies and find that information out through masturbation then they feel like they can't say it and they feel like they're going to be judged there's going to be shame oh you shouldn't be feeling that oh you like that oh that's weird you know like there's so much judgment and you just need to get rid of that fucking judgment oh yeah it's ridiculous yeah

and like I had a girlfriend like I don't know 15 years ago this is how taboo things were back then like she was telling us this story that she had sex with this guy and she's like and he was you know fucking me from behind she's like and I reached around and I fingered my own asshole and she was but like she would have been drinking but she was so humiliated with herself that like she touched her own asshole during sex but she's like it felt so good but like I can never see him again I'm humiliated and I remember the time we were like

Oh my god and like and I was thinking I was like I could never oh wow and like now I mean I fck myself more in the ass than I do anything else with something and I tell my friends and I show them the videos look at the dildo I took in my own ass I'm so proud of myself like

I think it's interesting to like even just even talking about that there's some women who don't want that don't like dogging because they don't want someone looking at their anus like they don't even want it to be looked at

You know what I mean?

Oh my god.

My girlfriend is like that.

It's funny.

Literally last night we had this conversation and she's like, I just need to find somewhere that'll bleach my asshole.

And I'm like, why the fck do you care so much about the color of your asshole?

Tell me what did she say?

Oh she's just like well so here's the funny thing there's like some of us girls like you know we still do parties here and there and stuff restarted I'm like you know what I'm claiming my fcking stripper hood back again I don't even give a shit I'm gonna do it until I can't do it anymore and so

So we have one girlfriend that's quite younger than us and she has this beautiful pink little asshole and my one girlfriend is just like she always talks about her perfect little asshole and I was like yeah I saw it last week and I was like yeah it's nice I'm like she's like yeah she's like don't tell her that though I was like what do I care like why do I care what my asshole looks like but she's been obsessed over the color of her asshole compared to our friends for like two years

Ruan Willow

Oh yeah.

But yeah, I know she's obsessed with bleaching her asshole.

I was like, listen, just buy the kit.

I'll bleach your fcking asshole for you.

Do not waste money on it.

But I was like, again, nobody's looking at your asshole and thinking or caring the color of it.

No, no, no, no, no.

That's almost silly.

I mean, I get it because we get we get self-conscious, but

Totally I mean especially if you're comparing it and I suppose like oh okay yeah there's a pinker one but I mean who cares like my assholes pinker than your asshole like that's right you guys are going eeny meeny miny moe take the pinker butthole you know like

Oh my gosh, I need to do that poll on Twitter.

I do lots of polls on Twitter and be like, what color asshole and does it matter?

Let me know.

And then I can at least show her and just be like, listen, it's been pulled.

Nobody cares what your asshole looks like.

You're fine.

It's so funny.

Oh my gosh, I'm dying.

It's hilarious.

I always wondered about that too.

So like, it's just up for the outside, right?

There's no bleaching and on the inside, it's outside skin only because I've heard of these, you know, kits and I'm like, what does that really mean?

Yeah, it's just the outside skin color.

And I mean, realistic, I've read that you can take hydrogen peroxide, put it on there, like you can do that multiple times a week or something.

But I mean, again, like it's my booty hole, like, right, I'm not too concerned.

Really I mean I think that your friend also needs to consider the fact that there are different colored pussies out there and that's not a bad thing and your pussy color changes like I learned this a couple of years ago I didn't even know this your skin can actually change color during sexual play during different times of the month and I've started to pay attention to that and it really does change color like sometimes I got more purples sometimes I'm more all pinkish and it changes

Pay attention to that because and I did not know this until someone told me that that that is a thing and I'm like, holy shit.

They're right.

Yeah, crazy.

That is crazy.

Well, you know what even like texture like internal texture.

I had a guy friend tell me that like not that long ago.

He's like, yeah, man.

He's like sometimes you just slide in and like right away.

You're like, oh this isn't going to be good and I was like what?

and he's like yeah he's like some of them you slide in and it's like a perfect little cloud of cushiony softness that grips your dick and it feels great and then some of them you slide in and it's like kind of rough and a little more textured and he's like and it doesn't feel as good he's like it doesn't matter if it's tighter he's like the texture itself can be a little bit off or rough and he's like and then it kind of just isn't as great I was like interesting

And I wonder what brings that about.

It could be her time of the month or it could be her level of arousal.

You know what I mean?

That could change because that's another thing I've learned so much.

I feel like I've taken classes.

I've talked to so many amazing people.

I did not know this either.

I learned that as we are aroused, our vagina actually lengthens and gets bigger so it can accept something big like a cock or a dildo.

And I didn't know that.

And so like

If it can change just during that, think of all the different changes that are happening and might have to do with the level of arousal of the woman.

I felt like I had another point in there and I lost it because I was imagining the vagina lengthening.

It's funny as you were saying that too, I was like picturing I'm like,

yeah that makes sense because I mean like what girl doesn't do every now and then like a little like finger test swab thing you know check your like whatever your discharge shit and I was saying this my girlfriend I was like sometimes when I do that when I'm in the shower like fck my vagina is tight and then it's like I'll be with a guy and I'm like I felt way tighter this morning and like you know but like you said when you get aroused it opens up to take something but like I don't know sometimes I wish it would just stay a little bit more you know firmer to take it

at least on like the start you know be like yeah yeah I was that tight but

Right and I think too if you if you've ever tried to put in a dildo too early or had sex too early when you're not aroused you can tell too because it might hurt a little bit more it's not accepting it because it isn't that pliable maybe it hasn't expanded yet so so interesting all these things we don't know and when I've talked to some of these people that have been studying this for many years they said that they're in textbooks and whatnot the clit was actually completely removed

from many of these textbooks modern textbooks was actually not even talked about and not it was removed from anatomy texts for a while isn't that crazy it's a fucking body part like wow that's just disturbing as a woman to know that it was actually purposely left out

Yeah, that's crazy.

Like, isn't it?

To think of the lengths that they would go to to literally remove that like they don't want us to learn about it to know about it for those reasons.

You know, because yeah, women are meant to have sex for having children not for pleasure, right?

Control.

It's pure control.

Women is what it is.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's crazy.

So it's so good that we have these kind of things that we're talking about it so people can know.

But you know, you mentioned earlier that you didn't know what the clit looked like.

And I didn't either until I interviewed a woman.

She was one of the people that helped figure out what the aroused, engorged internal clit looked like and she helped image it.

and that was the first time I was like maybe two years ago that I saw what a clit really looks like and it looks kind of like an octopus right it's got these arms and lobes and it's it's really I would have never in a million years guessed it looked like that it's more like an alien or something it's not you know a dick is just a straight rod you know it's just simple

We're way more complex than that.

Yeah, which I love like I feel like it's almost like we're gifted in the sense that we can have so many different types of orgasms and so many different pleasure points and nerve things.

It's just we have to take the time to want to discover it and to like do it.

I interviewed a tantra coach a little while back and then I've been working with her and it's crazy because like even like the self-pleasure practice that like through tantra that she gives me for homework like it's it's time like you have to dedicate 25 minutes to yourself so many times a week to do this practice and sometimes in my head and I like get resistance towards it like I don't want to I just want the quick thing I just want like 60 seconds

which is so insane because we're so programmed to you know quick quick quick quick quick but the times where it's like I do it I'm like this is so much better I literally have like a 15 to 20 minute full body tingling orgasm compared to the 30 seconds that I just wanted to get over and done with

to you know go to bed or get out my door but it's that that mental part of like sitting yourself down saying i'm we're going to do this we're dedicating this time to ourselves we deserve this the self-pleasure putting away everything else and giving back to ourselves because we've been learned taught for so many years that like we can't do that we have to take care of everybody else take care of the children take care of the man take care of the house do this do this that we didn't have that kind of time for ourselves and

Now it is becoming more of a thing of self-pleasure, self, you know, love and the women standing more in their power and saying, no, this is what I want.

This is what I'm going to do.

These are my boundaries.

This is my value.

This is my worth and it's crazy to see how many people don't like it.

You know, yes.

Oh, for sure.

But it is you see more and more people doing it.

You see more and more, you know, sex coaches and women and just, you know, people, anyone, people like us.

But it's so true.

You need to take the time.

And I do that, too.

I often will be using a sex toy and I'm like, OK, I should be done.

I really should go to bed.

I'm like, wait, no, I want to push myself.

What's going to happen if I do this?

What's going to happen if I do that?

And that's what we need to do, especially since we haven't done it the majority of our lives.

Now is the time to do it.

There's no time to waste.

Do it now.

Yeah.

So true, but I don't know.

I think it will change.

I think people are discovering more.

They're seeing more.

They're learning more.

There's so much more research and like you said people are talking about it more and even on the men's side for mental health and sexual health like I see more of that online now like we ever have and I love that for them.

I love that for you know their discovery their you know ability to kind of stand together united and be like it's okay for us to have mental health problems and it's okay for us to talk about it and recognizing that sometimes those mental health problems that you haven't been able to talk about for so long are actually what's creating sexual health problems and that there's an actual tie to that and before it's just medicated

Here's a Viagra, here's a Cialis, but it's like, you know, what is the real reason as to why you're having sexual health issues?

What is your mental health?

You know, and asking those questions and saying it's okay to ask those questions and it's okay to talk about it.

That brings up a really good point where women were, you know, kind of discouraged from masturbating and talking about sexuality things.

Men had the same thing only it was about their emotions and what they could feel and what they could tell.

And I had a guest that talked about that and really honed in on the fact that, yeah, a lot of men feel like they can't feel things.

Ruans Substack

Yeah the whole pill I heard somebody talking about too how they're trying to create a female viagra and everybody's like why don't we just deal with the real reasons of this and stop trying to fucking medicate everything you know like we're natural bodies we don't need pills to fuck yeah you know okay I understand some people may need it for certain reasons but you know most people they need to fix something to make their sex better oh take a pill yeah yeah

Connecting back into yourself, into your physical, your spiritual, your mental, figuring all of that, kind of grounding, getting right with that.

And I think it's like your sexuality essentially writes itself once you've kind of uncovered and like, you know, gone through the layers of those things.

But it's hard.

A lot of people don't want to do the work.

And then sometimes people, you know, and I get it.

It's scary.

It can be messy.

and like you when you start to uncover it all I mean you usually uncover a lot of shit but on the flip side of it what you gain long term is such freedom right it's like you get such control over yourself your body and like you actually just like you can just be like okay

I know it.

I got it.

I've learned all their tools.

I've processed this.

I recognize things when they come up, but it's not affecting you in the same way.

And honestly, you can use your sexual health to help clear and heal the mental health part of it.

And that's what I've really had to like

learn and discover is like through healing my sexual health I'm healing so many other things and I can use my sexuality to heal and like that's kind of the cool part of it is like with all of this breath work and womb work and sexual work

I'm having orgasms, enjoying my pleasure, but I'm also healing so many other things.

And like, that's what's beautiful.

I think about being a woman, you know?

Oh, absolutely.

One of the things that struck me when you said that is I interviewed a couple of dominatrixes and, how do you say that?

Dominatrices?

I don't know, whatever.

Two different dominatrix women.

and they talked about how that whole mental health piece is a part of what they do and it's sexual it's sexuality and it's so interesting how it really seems like in our culture that it's separated like sex is not really tied with our mental health in the general talkings of things in the culture the society but it really is it's hugely intertwined

and something that even like I was kind of like taken aback when they were talking about it because I'm like is this a thing wait this really makes a lot of sense like I was ingrained to thinking that sex was like separate from mental health you know what I mean yeah wow

Yeah, we're taught there's a disconnect, but it's so connected, you know, which I mean, really, maybe that's part of the reason why they don't want us to know it, right?

Right.

If we keep them not knowing this information and keep it away from them, then all of these other problems, we can medicate them and, you know,

Keep them, you know, I don't know, not awakened, not learning, not discovering and we can tell them what they need to learn and you know what that means and keep them in the little box and program them, right?

Exactly, exactly.

It's like something I read recently that was disturbing and then that was a part of it like control of sexuality, control of reproduction, it's how you control large groups of people, their finances, you know all of that kind of stuff.

So it's it's on purpose.

People think that this stuff is not malignant but

It's definitely not benign.

It's on purpose.

No, but God forbid people think for themselves in that respect.

Not to be, you know, not to say it, but I said it.

So right.

So when doing your your work as a stripper and whatnot, did you feel like there was that sexual or a psychology and mental health component?

Or is that something that you've come to realize more as time has gone on?

I think for me at a younger age, it was more about

Um, I liked being in control.

I liked that like, and like I was a shy girl like growing up, but I liked that like when I would step into a room of like say 30 men, it's like I felt very empowered that it's like all of a sudden I could just control the room.

It's like I could be like, Hey guys, you know, tell them to shut up.

This is what we're doing.

And it just felt like you had the power.

And I think through which, you know, not maybe knowing at the time,

through traumas I had had at a young age that was my way of taking back my control and my power and so it was very expressive for me in that way but I also didn't really see myself as like a beautiful girl in that way or attractive so it also gave me a lot of like validation that I think I probably needed because I was insecure low self-esteem you know like any typical young girl

and I think for me it was one way that like I was able to fill that void of like validation of like feeling beautiful and feeling desired and wanted and it obviously came through the form of you know men but it was very empowering but like very expressive too for me to be able to to do a lap dance or to do a little striptease like you kind of get in your head and you get into the moment and

it's like this erotic dance you have with yourself where I could be giving a lap dance to you I mean not to like you know like literally the grossest person on like earth but I'm so in my moment of what I'm doing that like I turn myself on and it becomes like this this sexual embrace for myself which I found to be very healing

Oh absolutely that just totally makes sense and it sounds wonderful and it makes sense because you know you are in control you're taking control yeah you took control of your sexuality and doing what you did and many women don't do that and they suffer for it you know so I feel like it's yeah I feel like it's getting more and more common there's getting to be more and more books out there for women to own their sexuality you know instead of having this shame and it's just hard because it's so ingrained in everybody like we said and

religion, family, culture but I do feel like the more that we talk about it the better it's getting and the more people I see doing it gives me hope.

Oh yeah oh my god recently on one of my but I mean like there's a lot of men that are so stuck in like this traditional world of belief and like what like and

Oh jeez

and all I could respond with was laughing emojis because I was like he cannot be for real right now.

That person just needs to go disappear into the sky and say bye-bye.

See you now.

Yeah I was like not even gonna get into this with you but like

but genuinely he probably believes that is like that's how he was raised and like women are at fault for everything and if something's not working the woman needs to look at what she's doing wrong in the bedroom and it's not the man's job for this it's the woman's job for this and it's just like and like I wanted to respond to be like yeah you sound like you'd be fun to fck but I was like and you're single yeah yeah totally right yeah so you're still a virgin right yeah

and left it alone just put some laughing emojis I'm like yeah good joke but people sometimes it's not worth going after those people but yeah and sometimes you just want to just like I mean you're just aghast yeah yeah it's like yeah and then sometimes I'm like uh the online police will just they'll say it like the other people will just say it for me I don't even have to but yeah that's true close my mind people's

you know but that's where I think that old school traditional thought process too for men was you you know you married the housewife but you fck the whore and that's where cheating was you know right if she's good in bed

Do not marry her.

She's a whore.

She's a slut.

So that's not who you marry.

You do not have children with the whore, but you you marry the housewife, you have kids with her, and then you fck the whore on the side.

And it was like that accepted, you know, norm of that's my wife.

I could never do that to her.

I got a girlfriend for that, you know?

Exactly and that's so fcked up because you know that woman is feeling neglected.

She wants to be fcked like a whore too.

I mean, hello?

That's so fcking stupid.

It's just, it's annoying.

It's like the, what is that?

Like, I don't know, it's probably like a 1960s mentality, right?

The whole housewife and yeah.

dated guys even three four years ago that i've been in love with that i'm like and like i know that they loved me and i'm like let's do this this and buy this toy and like one day the one guy said to me he's like do you remember when we first met and you told me that whole betty veronica theory of like your guy friends say that about same thing it's like you marry the veronica but you fck the betty or whichever one it was and he's like i never really got it he's like

But like now I do.

He's like, and I don't want to do those things with you.

I don't think I could do those things with you.

And I was just like, you've got to be fcking kidding me.

Like that is seriously stupid.

Right?

My gosh.

Like, so we're in love.

You love me, which means then you can't be freaky with me, but you'll be freaky with like the escorts that like, you know, you use, which cause I, I knew and I didn't care, but like, it was like, so why couldn't we just do it all?

Why couldn't we be the weirdos together?

You know, you might as well just be siblings.

You know what I mean?

Your siblings, your cousins, whatever.

I don't know what you call it, but more like siblings.

That is so disturbing.

It's like, do they realize how stupid and asinine and backwards that is?

Right?

Like if I trust a guy, the dirtier I am with him, like the more that I love you, the more weird shit I want you to do with me.

you know because I don't care I know you're not judging me for it because we have a foundation of love and trust I'm not going to do the weird thing with the guy I met two minutes ago at the bar that I took home then I know he's going to look at me like what the fck and I'm out of here you know but like yeah the person I have a bond with and maybe like hey I saw this online once I heard it can do this let's try it you know yeah

but yeah I don't know guys need to catch up on that.

That's a red flag.

Yes.

That's a huge red flag get out of those relationships women who are in any of anybody says anything remotely like that to you red flag get out it's not going to get better it's not going to go away I mean not saying that people can't change but it's going to take effort and they may not have the capacity or the interest to do that work.

Oh yeah yeah yeah I mean yeah

and like guys I think get a little bit weirded out quicker than like girls over things too like yeah yeah you know even with like anal play I've had guys who have say like I mean if there was like shit on my dick yeah I'd probably never look at you the same or whatever oh geez and like I'm like okay but like you know you're the one who wanted to do that and then like you know and they're like but like I really want you to do this to like

my bud and I'm like okay they're like but I would never let actually let you because like I would be too worried that like I would get shit on you I'm like right but I wouldn't judge you if you did and I wouldn't care but like you're literally gonna judge me if I do when you're the one who wants to do it so it's like no women are far more accepting of all the weird and all the whatever guys are the ones who are a little bit just like I can't quite go down that road

That's not even a logical line of reasoning.

Like that's just messed up.

It doesn't even make any sense, honestly.

Yeah, I hear what you're saying on that.

I totally agree.

Women are more accepting of such things.

It's so bizarre.

Right?

Yeah.

What the hell is up with that?

I don't know.

Like if a guy asked me like to peg him, I'd be like, cool, I'll peg you, you know?

Sure.

Right.

No problem.

I'm not going to judge you for it, but like you're going to judge me for that one thing like I want to do?

No.

Wow.

So I have to ask you, do you have a favorite sex toy?

I always like to talk about sex toys too.

I do.

So I had, I was gifted last year a, one of those Fck machines.

Oh okay yes tell me more yeah so and it's crazy because it came with like my god probably 10 or 15 different like dildo shape sizes and whatever but uh I've shared it before but my favorite one is like there is literally one toy that comes that you can bend it's like a bendable

Ruan Willow Title

that's pretty cool yeah the whole squirting thing too like some people still don't believe it's a thing and some people think it's pee yeah you know like isn't that crazy that in this day and age we don't understand female sexual fluids yeah i know i know people are so and it's like i mean you can google it and then they're still like nah yeah i think it's that i'm like

OK, well, let me piss all over you then.

I know.

See if you notice the difference.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's do a taste test, smell test, you know, color test.

Sure.

You let me know which one you prefer.

It's actually pretty funny.

So, yeah, I should do that, actually.

Just be like, so we're going to do research.

I'll grab the towel.

Exactly.

What's your favorite toy?

and The Clit Suckers

right okay so it's like this thick pen and it tapers to a little point so it's very very pinpointed pleasure and the thing that i just blew my mind i talked about this with a guest recently on my podcast what it taught me since it's so fine and pinpointed it taught me there are different parts of my clit that have stronger and lesser sensations across it and on one side is stronger than the other

and it just blew my mind and so we were talking about this and she said that's a thing she said that's called clit mapping you can map your clit to see where it's stronger in different spots and weaker in others and since it's so little tiny like that like this little pinpoint you can test different spots easily

Blue My Mind.

I feel like I need one of these.

You do.

You do.

And so I figured out my top upper right quadrant is stronger than the left.

It's upper also, but it feels good all around it.

Like if you do also like a circle around it with this toy, you can feel, I can feel the sensations varying.

If I go around it slowly, I get strong, strong, strong, less, less strong, less, you know, like it varies as I go around and it really shows you where on your clit is most stimulating.

Interesting.

Z-U-M-I-O is what it is.

You'll have to send me like a link or a picture.

I definitely need to try that.

I heard and it's funny because I read and I had done an interview with somebody a long time ago talking about orgasmic meditation.

So OMING which there was a huge documentary and they said that the left side of a woman's clit and typically like your vulva area is typically more sensitive and I can't remember the reasoning

But I remember like saying that so in like this OMing practice that people do it's like typically they discovered that like women on the left side that's like that rubbing point where you have like these more heightened but it's like you you have to find it there's something where on the left side there's this different type of nerve that whatever and I've never been able to find it but I've never really pinpointed or tried to that extent so

right curious now well Azumio might help you and I do find like my left is strong but for me the right side is stronger but I would have never known it if I had not tried this toy I mean yeah I would have never known because if you think about it like if you're using those clit suckers it's a circle and it's hitting every point of your clit so you can't say oh it feels stronger over here over there because it's this whole pressure all around yeah but with that toy you can touch you know very fine points

Oh interesting.

I'm not going to lie all this sex talk I'm like I might go masturbate after this.

I know right.

Exactly.

Exactly.

So what is your what are your burning new things that you've learned?

I mean I know we've talked about some of them but I know it's isn't it fun to have guests and you find these new things like I feel like I have a guest on they tell me something I'm like oh dang that's really cool.

You know what I think like a lot for me is so I've talked to a few like that are big into like the psychology of like the brain and things like that.

And it really was, I think through everything, it's like learning my boundaries, but then also giving myself permission to have a boundary or be okay with not liking something or needing something to be different, like something as stupid as like,

Like, you know, for girls how sometimes it's like, okay, you have somebody come over and you know, you go into a room and it's maybe really brightly lit.

And like I've had instances where it's like, you know, you're making out the carry you to the bedroom and then like the light is on and I'm so distracted by the light being on and so like in my mind of like, oh Fck maybe like my stretch marks you can see more and oh, he's going to find me attractive with this weird light on that all of a sudden I turn myself off and I'm no longer present.

because I'm obsessed over this light but then in my mind I'm like but if I tell him to shut off the light he's gonna think that means I'm insecure and I'm not enjoying this and it was like having interviews with you know actual psychologists who are like no that's actually a thing and there's a sensory thing and certain women need certain sensory things and like the one lady I talked to she's like for me she's like I have to have socks on when I have sex she's like right feet being cold

completely takes away from this and she's like and that's the thing is giving yourself permission to be like hey you know what I'm really enjoying what we're doing but I'm kind of distracted by this light do you mind if we dim it a little bit and like knowing that it's okay to ask for certain things to increase our pleasure and increase us being able to be in the moment and then just her teaching me

kind of how to pull yourself back into the moment because let's be honest once we get distracted and something else is in our mind we are so not in it anymore and now you're just going to the motions to get them off because it's like I still got to finish what I started but like not gonna get there

and then learning how to be able to actually come back to that.

So those are like the big things for me I think and like not thinking overthinking the little things of like hey you know what I really like it when it smells really good in here or when there's like a certain music on it turns me on.

and if you're a guy who enjoys giving pleasure and you like seeing your partner turned on then you're gonna be like yeah let's do it fck I'm all for it over being like what do you mean that's weird I don't want a candle burning you know and like those things so it's been cool for that kind of stuff

Yeah I mean first of all you need a partner that's not going to say that kind of stuff to you and not jump to those conclusions and be making judgments but that really falls in line with what I've heard a lot about those what do they call the sexual blueprints like if you have a sensual like it sounds like maybe you have the sensual because you need you like the feel of things you like the way things look and there's like I think there's like five different blueprints or something like that somebody wrote this amazing book and I'm drawing a blank on who it is

How about you?

What's your favorite thing you've learned?

Oh my gosh that is like so hard to pick but I really liked learning that I wasn't the only one that was finding out this clit mapping stuff because I'm like this is weird is my clit like numb on certain areas like you know have I had damage you know and she's like no no this is a thing this is a thing and it's true

Ruan's

Some women, they, this is a theory that some women may like anal more because their clit might extend back there more than in other women.

And I thought, if that's true, that's really mind blowing.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Like, so to think that your clit could actually be stimulated from anal sex because your clit is just stretching back there further.

And I'm like, someone needs to study this because I'm really curious if this is true, you know?

Yeah.

That's mind-blowing to think about right because it does look kind of like an octopus you got these lobes and these legs like you know yeah like it's a wishbone look I know isn't that that blew me away when she said that and I think she I don't know if she was talking about if it was something she had read or for something she was just postulating and I'm like yeah fascinating thought process

Yeah and I have a guy friend who said he dated this one girl that like she loved anal over anything else and always asked for that and like and I and I said to him because like I was like well not all women actually know and have g-spot orgasms I said so

If she doesn't have orgasms through penetration and the only way she can really have an orgasm is through anal, that would be why.

If you can have an orgasm through anal sex, which I know a lot of women do, but you can't have one through penetration, well then yeah, why would you waste your time on just vaginal penetration if it's not really doing anything for you?

Right, like see I can't come from just G-spot penetration.

I need my clit involved.

I mean it's very rare for me to come.

I'd have to be really turned on and maybe the right exact pressure but it's hard for me to come from just G-spot alone.

See and I've never had a clitoral orgasm during sex.

Oh, haven't you?

Okay.

No, I G-spot orgasm though.

But like I find when a guy grabs a vibrator and hold it to like my G-spot during or my clit during sex, it distracts me from like, but like my other feeling of like the fact that I'm going to have a G-spot one or like building up that like now it's like, I'm focused on that especially because when you're not holding it in the right place, it's kind of off to the side and like when you're trying to like, you know, ride somebody and they're holding a toy and like there's too much going on.

Is it that wild because I'm like the flip of that now that you say that I think about the fact that I've had times where I'm stimulating the g-spot and the clit where I start to get distracted because of the way my g-spot is being stimulated and I'd rather that go away and it just be the clit

I mean, that's fascinating that we're the opposite in that way, but just shows you how many differences there are in women.

Totally.

But by myself, I can 100%.

with your clip okay yeah but like something about like yeah the other way around with the guy being there i don't i don't know i've just never been able to but oh that's so interesting fascinating we need more study in these areas right yeah but like we're all just so different and like it's fascinating that like we all are so different and different things work for different people

which also then goes to show that there isn't a one size fits all solution to getting off a girl which most guys seem to think like oh no no no I can do that for you don't worry I've been known to be the best pussy eater around these parts don't you worry

Right.

Well, what worked for Betty down the street does not work for Fckin Sue.

So until you learn that everybody is different, everybody, every woman's vagina is different.

Their clit is different.

Some things work and you ask questions.

What works for you?

What do you like?

Does this feel good?

Do you need more pressure?

And us voicing it as well, but for a guy to actually accept and acknowledge the fact that we are not all built the same and we all need different things, the better you will be in bed.

you know oh for sure for sure absolutely i mean i think that's just so true and i think that comes from a lot of lack of knowledge in men and women about women's sexuality and their sexual organs yeah yeah absolutely and you know what it's funny uh my friends tease me all the time because i like younger guys and i find that the younger guys are actually more open and more receptive to me

and yeah they have that whole whatever milf older woman teach me attitude whereas older guys are like you know more hesitant and stuck in their beliefs and their thoughts that like they already know what they're doing and if you tell them you're doing something wrong they're offended you know or if you suggest something that you like they're actually it's a hit to their ego rather than so then it becomes about them

Yeah, it's not about the woman.

It's it's about their ego and their ego is not getting stroked and they're not the man, you know, like I can totally appreciate that and I'd really it does give me hope to see younger people that have broken some of that stuff that people more of the older generations are just destroying shit with into relationships.

They're more open to learning and they're more open.

They know more.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're not stuck in these horrible bad places.

Oh, I know something I was gonna say too.

One of the most fascinating things I learned recently was from a man who is, who does like, I think he does like sex change surgeries or something.

He, I don't know if you heard about this, but he actually counted how many nerve endings there are in the clit.

There's over 10,000, which is like double what's in the penis.

Okay isn't that wild that is and actually maybe then like that's where it's like they're not all in the one little tip place that we seem to think that they are yes yes that that brings me to the thought also the woman that was telling you about the clip mapping she was telling me that there's some people that have done research where they are assessing the contractions across the vagina in response to stimuli and there's some in there that maybe may not even fully register to the woman but is impacting her experience

So there are places all over that we don't really probably realize that we're feeling but it's impacting our overall arousal.

Isn't that wild?

She's a doctor so she knows about all this kind of stuff like that is like just mind-blowing and really cool that someone's doing that.

Yeah someone's doing that research like damn you go whoever you are.

That's awesome.

Yeah absolutely.

Oh I love learning about it and I love talking about it.

Oh, I do too.

It's amazing.

So what have you learned from doing podcasting that you didn't expect that you would have enjoyed?

Like, do you do what do you enjoy about it?

I think for me, it's really just like meeting other people that are like minded.

And I have made so many good friends from doing it.

And some people like that I've met that are just like, you know, why don't you come down and like, and visit people that I've interviewed and I'm like, okay,

and I've literally booked flights and gone and stayed with some of these people that are now like good friends of mine and it's just one of those things where it's like I find as soon as you start talking about sex with somebody there's like a different type of a bond of connection where it's like I know you more than I would have known you if I had you know conversation about play-doh and baking for like two years

and there's just becomes like this trust and this connection where you feel like you don't have to hide who you are you're just feel seen you feel heard and like you can literally just be your authentic self and people accept that and then it's like you just build this network of people that I feel like I could reach out to any of the men or women that I've interviewed in last year at any given time and be like I'm coming to your city

Yes, come stay with me.

Yes, let's go do this.

And it's just like a friendship that is developed through having similar beliefs and an openness to share and to talk.

And that's what I love.

I totally know what you're saying.

And it's like a different mindset of people that are willing to talk about sex so that that in itself already is just very different compared to, yeah, like sitting around talking about Plato, like you said, or anything, you know, anything that's not sexual.

Yeah, yeah, that's totally, totally amazing.

And that's really cool.

I mean, I think about that network you're building.

and you're also opening things up for other people sexuality people listen to a podcast like that's just fantastic so yeah I think it's awesome that we're doing this I think it's what the world needs and it's one place we can do it where we're not censored you know like you go to put a book on Amazon you have to follow all these different rules and all that and

podcasting is different it is right you can just you can speak your mind nobody's filtering it nobody's censoring it so they don't like it they don't have to listen to you but i think it gives people permission to have the same thoughts permission to

you know discover more want more to learn more to be curious and to like hear that other everyday normal men and women feel the same way think the same way and are talking about the same things and like that they can too and that it's okay you know yeah oh for sure

And, you know, in many ways it can change large volumes of people as they listen to this.

And I always think too, like across the world, a lot of people listen to podcasts in very different cultures who are going to learn things, whether they like entirely what we're talking about or not, they're still going to learn things they probably wouldn't have in their own culture.

Because a lot of these cultures are really restrictive, you know.

Oh, shoot, you froze.

Yeah, you froze on my end too for a second there.

Okay, I'm glad we didn't lose it.

Okay.

Well, this has been an amazing discussion.

I really enjoyed it.

Is there anything you would like to say or talk about or point out or highlight before we finish our chat?

I think just for like anybody who is listening just to absolutely accept themselves for where they are at in their sexual journey of whether it's healing, discovery, curiosity, but to just go into it with a level of curiosity to learn more about yourself to discover more

and to be open to having conversations with whoever your partner is or future partners about your needs and your wants and that they are just as important as theirs.

Men or women, whatever it is, just to remember that your needs and your pleasure is so important and you deserve it.

Absolutely.

I completely 100% agree.

Super important and well said.

Yeah.

But thank you for having me on.

I really, really did love this conversation.

It was really fun.

And so people can find Sex and Bacon on all the podcast apps, the usual ones.

You betcha.

Yeah.

Apple, Spotify.

We have a YouTube channel as well.

So you can actually watch some of the videos because we do have toys on there too sometimes.

And so we're very animated with what we, what we share.

Yeah and then you have a co-host right?

I do sometimes I do a lot of solo interviews I do have a girlfriend who did co-host quite a few episodes in the beginning with me on and off but mostly lately it's been a lot of solo solo interviews and stuff with guests and stuff and so and actually this would be one year this month actually pretty sure last week was our one year and

So we're going to switch things up actually which I'm really excited for kind of like a season two starting we're going to take a couple weeks break in the summer and then revamping and kind of coming at things in a different different way with some different research of different places and sharing the experiences in that way so I'm excited for that so

Very cool.

And then what's your ad on Instagram again?

So on Instagram we are at Confessions of a Fckaholic.

Yep that's what I thought.

I love it.

Definitely an intriguing title, right?

Get people interested in that.

Well, honestly, you can't have sex on that.

So I had tons of at sex and bacon, sex and bacon, this sex and bacon, and they were always got like, taken down.

Oh, it was just like, cool.

You can't use the word sex, but you can use the word fck.

So isn't that interesting?

I know.

I wondered if they balked at that when I saw the fckaholic.

I'm like,

Well they must not because you're there.

Yeah it's been yeah they've surprisingly never had an issue with it but yeah.

But sex I know because so many people on Instagram will be like s-e-g-g-s you know for sex and oh yeah s-e-c-k-s and all this stuff like why does sex have to be such a taboo word we're all here because of sex

I was answering a poll from a woman who is a physician trying to teach people how

Better pelvic floor better Sex all that kind of stuff and so she had this poll out there that said which part of your body for women Brings you the most pleasure your orgasm the most from or something like that and I said the word clitoris I got this notification saying I couldn't say the word clitoris.

I'm like fuck you She can say it, but I can't say it because I'm a smaller account and it's a body part So it's like you're telling me my body part is a bad word So I got really pissed off and I went back and I did it again, but I put in the word penis

Oh, no warning there.

I could say penis all I wanted.

I'm like you fckers.

I know, isn't that disturbing?

I was like, I just left the platform.

I'm like, that is offensive for you to tell me my body part word is an offensive word.

And it's literally a medical word, definition of it.

Body part.

That's like saying your eyebrow is a bad word.

It's a body part.

It exists.

I was livid.

That's crazy.

Yeah, I would be pissed too.

Sarah Hughes

same thing on twitter you know you've got i've seen some of these twitter accounts are like you know hundreds of thousands of people and they're putting porn on their other people they show any kind of body part oh they lose their account

I was actually shocked at the things that you could find on Twitter, uncensored.

Right, yes.

They're censoring it more now than they ever have, but yeah.

That's crazy.

There's a lot of porn on Twitter, there really is.

A lot of sexuality and it's more open to sexuality topics, but it's getting more censored than it used to be.

Like I could understand having like a whole little like you know click here verify you're 18 no different than any porn website but you know like allow people to make that distinction of like I'm clicking here I'm saying I'm of age instead of just being like nobody can put this here because of the children well

I know you know my child knows how to go to Pornhub I'm sure too and can click the thing that says he's 18 he's like let's be honest exactly there are more tech savvy than the children are more tech savvy than we are they don't want to get into things it's ridiculous and yeah you're right it's just a click yeah I'm 18 yeah

yeah right they don't know what it means they just know if they click that box that means they have access to whatever they want so exactly it's silly it's the hiding of sex again yeah one thousand drives you crazy well thank you so much this has been really fun i really enjoyed our chat so thank you for coming on i'm so glad that you you know invited me and i'm glad that we got to have this conversation and i really hope that everybody i know that everybody will get a lot of value and like you know out of it so that's great

Absolutely and I hope they do.

Thanks again.

You have a good day.

Thank you.

You as well.

Bye.

okay thank you for listening to our chat it was so much fun we really had fun i love talking to other women i love talking to other podcasters i just i love talking to people and especially people who are open and like to talk about things and sarah was definitely open and we had a fun chat we had a good time and we talked about podcasting obviously if you listen to it you know so thank you for being here still if you are because you are the best oh yeah

again our links are down in the podcast show notes if you'd like to support us find out more about us come find us all over baby we got stuff out there and listen to Sarah's podcast Sex and Bacon such a good name isn't it it's intriguing when I first saw it I'm like

Thank you for listening and don't forget to enjoy your bodies!

to enjoy our bodies, enjoy our life.

And you know, they are magic, sex magic, if you want to call it that.

Because when you orgasm, you feel better.

You get amazing hormones flooding throughout your body.

You get healing, restoration.

You get to recharge.

You feel amazing after you climax.

Right?

Yes!

Get more of that in your life daily, baby.

Make sure you come today.

Don't listen to these people that tell you you're not supposed to.

Do they also say don't use your taste buds?

Mmm, I don't think so.

We were given these organs for a reason to enjoy our lives.

If we weren't supposed to enjoy it, we wouldn't have been given the pleasure sensations that are built in our bodies.

This is ridiculous.

We were meant to enjoy ourselves, enjoy our bodies, our sexuality and sensuality.

Make sure you come today, baby.

Oh, fck yeah.

You have an amazing fcking day.

Love ya.

Bye bye now.

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