Pillow Talk with Red Velvet: From Pearl Panties to Power Plays

Episode 408: Pillow Talk with Red Velvet: From Pearl Panties to Power Plays. In this steamy installment of Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow, we're dialing up the heat with a sizzling interview featuring the voice that's setting phone lines ablaze—Red Velvet. A professional phone and erotic audio bombshell, Red Velvet delves into the realms of femdom, findom, and GFE with a voice that commands attention. With two years of online sex work under her belt, her expertise in voice acting and content creation will leave you hanging on every word.

This episode isn't just an exploration of Red Velvet's tantalizing talents; it's a deep dive into the psychology of desire, the nuances of sex work, and the empowerment found in owning one's sexuality. From the power dynamics of findom to the intimate connections made through phone sex, Red Velvet shares her insights and experiences with Ruan in a conversation that's as thought-provoking as it is titillating.

Listeners, prepare to be enthralled by tales of domination and seduction, and maybe discover a new kink or two along the way. But remember, this podcast is strictly for the 18+ crowd. So, if that's not you, it's time to hit pause.

For those ready to indulge, get cozy and tune in to this revelatory episode. And if you're craving more, follow the links in the podcast show notes to immerse yourself further into the world of Red Velvet and Ruan Willow. Whether you're looking to explore your fantasies or simply seeking a sensual escape, today's conversation promises to leave you breathless.

Red Velvet's links: https://linktr.ee/xredvelvetx23

Catch all Ruan’s links here: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow

Show notes created by https://headliner.app

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📋 Episode Chapters

(00:00) This is for 18 plus only. If you're under 18, please leave the podcast now
(01:54) Tell us where people can find you on social media
(03:49) Okay, so we're going to get into, I started this not too long ago
(04:51) Men put so much emphasis on the concept of virginity and purity
(10:43) What's one kink you haven't tried yet that you are dying to try
(13:24) What's one porn situation that gets you instantly turned on
(15:38) Do you keep private fantasies that you keep to yourself
(17:00) What time of day do you generally feel more aroused
(18:19) Tell us more about doing the phone sex and what do you enjoy about it
(25:38) I think it's hard, too, because it's a delicate balance
(25:58) So you're focused mainly on fendom. Are those areas that you feel passionate about
(29:14) What do you think the difference is between findom situation and a sugar daddy situation
(33:20) Is this kind of work something that you are open with people in your life
(39:58) Sex workers call you when they're at their most private and intimate
(50:46) Night premium chat is a newer service that lets you do video calls

Ruan's latest audiobook:  The Sugar Daddies https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/thesugardaddiesaudiobook

Transcript

Season 4 Episode 407, transcript created by Headliner AI. Not edited by a human. Questions? Email ruanwillow@gmail.com Copyright Pink Infinity Publishing 2024 All Rights Reserved.

This is for 18 plus only. If you're under 18, please leave the podcast now

>> Speaker A Ruan Willow: Hello, this is Ruan Willow with the. Oh, f*ck yeah. With Ruan Willow podcast. I'm excited you're here today. You know why? Because it turns me on when you listen to me. It really does. I'm fucking serious. Hello, everyone. I'm so excited to talk to this person. This is going to be an awesome interview. I'm really intrigued and interested in what she does because she does audio just like I do red velvet. Velvet is a professional phone and erotic audio bombshell who specializes in femmdam vimdom and girlfriend experiences. She's a trained voice actor and content creator who has been doing online sex work for two years. And she has a link tree, which I'm going to put down in the podcast show notes, and I will put mine down there as well, so you can check us both out. I have all my books and audiobooks and my links and my other audios. So, hey, come check us out, and I want to welcome you to the show. If you're under 18, though, please leave the podcast now. This is for 18 plus only. Welcome. How are you? I'm good.

>> Speaker B Red Velvet: I'm a little hungover.

>> Speaker A: Yes. You had a fun day, sounds like.

>> Speaker B: Yes, I had a very fun day. It was my friend's bachelorete party, so we had a little too much fun. It's, funny because we're all kind of in high school. that's how we all know each other. We're all kind of nerdy. we never really partied super hard. And now it's like, what's going to be like a nice, relatable. We'll go to a Broadway show, we'll do this, we'll do that. And now, the next day, I'm like, oh, God, guys, what did we do?

>> Speaker A: You're enjoying yourself. That's what you should be doing, right?

>> Speaker B: Yes.

>> Speaker A: I think that's awesome.


Tell us where people can find you on social media

So tell us a little bit more before we get started where people can find you.

>> Speaker B: Oh, yes. I have my own little clip stores where I have my erotic audio clips. I am on. I want clips. I am on loyal fans, phone calls. I do phone calls on Nightflirt and premium chat. And also I, want clips. They have a phone option, too. And you can also find me being a menace on Twitter. And I kind of fell off a little bit, but I was doing weekly rooms on moan, which is like, for those of you don't know, it is kind of. I don't know how to describe it. It's almost like live podcasting sort of.

>> Speaker A: Is the best way to describe it.

>> Speaker B: So you can join the rooms. People will have educational things on there. I've done domination sessions in there before. I known on there for sometimes going a little off tangent. If somebody brings up a movie and then it turns into the film critics hour, trying to kind of fell off for a couple of months. I'm trying to get back into doing a weekly moan room so you can find me on there as well. And you can find a lot of people on there. I'm always trying to get more people to check out moan. It's so much fun.

>> Speaker A: It is. I'm on moan too, and I was doing monthly stuff and I kind of fell off too. And I need to get back on doing that too. It is a great place, and there's a lot of different things.

>> Speaker B: All the regulars are really fun. Everyone's very chill, which is nice.

>> Speaker A: And m it's sex positive. Like, there's so many places around that are sex negative. So it's one place that's actually sex positive that you can go.

>> Speaker B: And I like that it is built for, it's not like, oh, we're, incidentally, we'll allow adult things, but I like that this is very much oriented for that because I think that makes people feel a lot more relaxed.

>> Speaker A: Oh, for sure.


Okay, so we're going to get into, I started this not too long ago

Okay, so we're going to get into, I started this not too long ago. I have sex questions for a guest. Are you down with that?

>> Speaker B: Oh, I am always down to clown.

>> Speaker A: Awesome. Okay, so my first question is, and this is a question I just used to ask, and I used to just ask this question only. And then we'd get into the interview, but now I've added to it. What is your favorite sexual position and why?

>> Speaker B: Oh, wow. I always love being on top. That's always going to be my favorite. sure, I guess cowgirl. You would say. I love topping. It feels great. It, makes you feel very powerful, and it makes me, I don't know, I feel like I can grab my partner a little bit better and I can do my thing a little more as opposed to when someone's on top of me and I feel like, no, you have to get closer. I want to kiss you.

>> Speaker A: Right. Like you're more in control of what's going to happen. Yeah, sure. I get that. Okay.


Men put so much emphasis on the concept of virginity and purity

And what was your main reason for having sex the first time, and how is it different from now?

>> Speaker B: I was young, I was in college, and I don't know, it was like, oh, well, everybody else is doing it. And I feel like at the time I had a lot of different fuck buddies. But men, being men, put so much emphasis on the concept of virginity and purity and stuff. And I would have so many, and I would be willing. I would be saying, like, you are my friend. I want to sleep with you. And we would do everything but have penetrative sex because they're like, your first time should be with someone special. And I'm like, no, it shouldn't.

>> Speaker A: You're wrong.

>> Speaker B: I don't care. You are my friend. That is special enough. It doesn't have to. Why are you making this seem like your dick is about to change my life? It's not right.

>> Speaker A: Emphasis on that in my mouth.

>> Speaker B: I am okay with putting it somewhere else, too. Right?

>> Speaker A: I think that shits from our culture. What do you think? I think that it's for sure m.

>> Speaker B: Because virginity concept, it's not a real thing. It's not like I wake up one day and I'm like, I'm a whole new person now.

>> Speaker A: Right, exactly. It's just dumb.

>> Speaker B: Exactly the same. And that was what was so crazy, too, was like, I feel like it's a little bit more intimate. Put your genitals in and or near my mouth. But you were making such a big deal about just sex, and it's like, no, I'm not stupid. If I'm saying I want this, it doesn't mean I'm going to change my mind. It certainly doesn't mean I'm going to fall in love with you.

>> Speaker A: Too much emphasis on that, right? There's too much emphasis on that.

>> Speaker B: And now I have sex just because I feel like him and I enjoy it, and I feel very comfortable and secure in my sexuality. And it's something I never. I grew up catholic and had a lot of that weird catholic guilt. Even though my parents were pretty progressive and I was surrounded with a lot of progressive friends. It took me just a little. I think once I was reaching the end of high school and going into college, when I think I became a little less, matronly in my thoughts around sex. And now there's no stopping me now I'm just a huge whore. And I love everything about it.

>> Speaker A: I love it. But, you know, it does shape us for quite a while until we can learn to shed it, because I was the same way. I had to shed it, too. And it gets so ingrained in us. Like you said, even if your parents were progressive, it's just our culture and our society that makes us feel that way. And we kind of start to think sex negative, right?

>> Speaker B: Yeah. To me, I feel like it's so. Okay, I'm a scorpio, so I always like to joke that I'm not just fucking you with my body, but my soul as well. Even if it's a one night stand. There's like a meme of a girl just laying there and they had just had sex or whatever, and it's like, so tell me your childhood trauma. I don't know. I feel like even if it's a one night stand and I don't even care about you that much, like, to at least know that you're, like, a person. I'm not super into small talk or whatever, but I feel like it is inherently, it's going to be an intimate thing, which is why to me, it doesn't have to be. Oh, well, it has to be with someone special or. No, you can make any situation, you can make any sexual experience special if you're really listening to each other and attentive and getting to know each other. And I think for me, it's so weird that everybody was so kind of wrapped up on the physical stuff, and that's like a next step when it's like, well, no, I think there's, like, an emotional aspect to it that I think is slightly more intimate and slightly more interesting. because you kind of are like, you're just two souls just kind of naked in front of each other, and that can be very intimidating. And I think that regardless if I know you, regardless if you're special, regardless if I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if I am choosing to spend this time with you for however long it is, you should be flattered and you should consider that special in and of itself. Right. You still have to work a little hard to get in bed with me. You still have to be someone I find interesting and who makes me laugh and who I feel like I have some sort of rapport with, that I feel comfortable taking things into the bedroom. Isn't it special enough? I don't need to put anything else on it.

>> Speaker A: Right. And I think that's the difference between people looking at as a sexual act, and that's the big thing, rather than it being emotional or spiritual thing, like you said. So it's weird that our society puts such this big, momentous thing on the actual act of it. You can have sex very shallow and not meaningful. So why do we put so much on that? It's weird, right? Yeah.

>> Speaker B: And maybe make things slightly dark for a moment. But, anyone, if you think about it, anyone at any time, can, unfortunately, do something to your body, but that doesn't mean that you accept it and that it feels that way for you. To me, it's the fact that I am, choosing this. I enjoy this. I like this. Calling the shots, we're listening to each other, I think, is way more important than just the actual acts that are going on.

>> Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly.

>> Speaker B: You're getting very philosophical.

>> Speaker A: I don't know. Right. Talking about sex. You're talking about philosophy.


What's one kink you haven't tried yet that you are dying to try

Okay, so the next question is, what's one kink you haven't tried yet that you are dying to try?

>> Speaker B: I, was actually thinking about this recently. I would love to. I usually am not very into being restrained, but m think I want to try the shabari ropes.

>> Speaker A: Oh, sure. Yeah.

>> Speaker B: I would both, I think, want to do it to a partner, but I think I'm kind of coming around to the idea that I would like someone who knows what they're doing to try it on me.

>> Speaker A: Sure. Yeah.

>> Speaker B: I think would be really fun. So maybe I'm adding rope bunny to my resume down the road.

>> Speaker A: Exactly. Why not try? I mean, why not try things, right? If you don't like it, then you go like, screw that. I don't want to do it again.

>> Speaker B: And it's just so aesthetically pleasing. They always look so m gorgeous, the harnesses. I think it's just so lovely. And I was thinking about it, and I was reading into it recently, I forgot why I went down this rabbit hole. But I was like, oh, that actually sounds very. I don't know. It sounds very interesting. And it's not something I ever in a million years thought I would be into, like, years ago. I can be a little bit of a control freak, and I always feel a little uncomfortable if I'm restrained sometimes. But I was like, actually, no, I think I like, like, this sounds interesting.

>> Speaker A: Yeah, it does. And what I think is interesting, too, is I actually interviewed Christian Red, who's a rope bondage instructor, and, he's just a professional. And it was interesting because I was talking with him about the fact that I'm claustrophobic. And I said, well, I don't know if I can handle it because I'm claustrophobic. But he said, sometimes those are the best people to work with because you can work with them and work through that. And I thought, wow, that's the opposite of what I thought. I didn't expect that to be his answer. And I'm like. I thought I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's not going to work for you. It's like, wow. But I could see how that would really amplify your claustrophobia, because you literally can't move, right?

>> Speaker B: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: And some of those. Not all the ties. Some of them. You literally can't move, though. You can move a little bit, I guess, is from what I hear, and.

>> Speaker B: I guess maybe, too. It's the fact that that's putting a lot of trust in another person, which is, terrifying for some people, but also what makes it more erotic, like, okay, I am trusting you. You know what I think will feel good? I am trusting you to kind of build this experience for us. And I'm also trusting that you'll listen to me when I say no or yes. Keep doing that. That is good.

>> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. And he talked about reading all the cues of the person and safety and all that. So there's a lot to consider with that, but, yeah, that's a great one to consider exploring.


What's one porn situation that gets you instantly turned on

The next question is, what's one porn situation that watching makes you instantly turned on? Like it's a switch. M.

>> Speaker B: Okay. Have you ever seen the videos? they're usually female solo videos with, like, the pearl panties.

>> Speaker A: I don't know if I've seen pearl panties.

>> Speaker B: Okay.

>> Speaker A: It's like underwear that's made out of pearls kind of a thing. Yes.

>> Speaker B: But if I was wearing a thong, the thong part, instead of it being in the back, is in the front, and you use the string of.

>> Speaker A: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: And I don't know what it is about that. It's so fascinating. Could watch it on a loop, but it gets me so turned on instantly. every single time I find one of those, I'm like, okay, we're good.

>> Speaker A: It's kind of like a tool or a sex toy, sort of. Right?

>> Speaker B: Yeah. It's so hot. I don't know what about it is so hot that it causes such a strong reaction in me, but it is so because it's very simple. And, I mean, if you think about. If you see one of them, you've kind of seen a lot of them because it is such a simple sort of a thing. But it's both really soothing to watch and just really hot. And for some reason, it gets me going right away.

>> Speaker A: That's awesome. I can't believe I've never seen that before. That's crazy. I have to search it now and see what comes up. Right?

>> Speaker B: Yeah. There's probably a better name for it that I am just blanking on in my.

>> Speaker A: Oh, sure.

>> Speaker B: Hungover state. There's probably proper name for it, but I just say the pearl panties. So if anybody feels the need to correct me, you are more than welcome.

>> Speaker A: To all about their pearl panties. They just sound cool. Just their name of them. I'm like, this is interesting. Although I don't know that I'd want to in them. Well, I don't know. I guess it depends, what that feels like.

>> Speaker B: It's for the bedroom.

>> Speaker A: Aunties. For the bedroom.


Do you keep private fantasies that you keep to yourself

Okay, this is the next question. Do you keep private fantasies for your own usage that you keep to yourself? And does that make you feel good or bad? You can say as much or as little as you like about that.

>> Speaker B: Oh, there are definitely some that I keep to myself.

>> Speaker A: I think that's common.

>> Speaker B: There are some that I keep to myself. maybe because it involves someone I know.

>> Speaker A: I don't know.

>> Speaker B: It's like, that would be kind of weird, maybe.

>> Speaker A: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: It's very situational dependent. Or sometimes it's just nice. Especially I do phone sex work and I listen to and share fantasies all day long. So I think for me, it's nice to have some things that are just my own and that I just keep to myself and are my own special little. Like, it's kind of like not bringing work home, sort of.

>> Speaker A: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: So, yeah, there are some that I like to just. Those are mine, locked away in my little box.

>> Speaker A: And so for you, that's kind of like a special thing. There's like no shame with that, right. This is my special. Right.

>> Speaker B: I wouldn't say I'm into anything that would cause me any kind of particular shame. it's just those are things I just. Not everybody needs to know everything about me.

>> Speaker A: That's right. That is so true. I totally agree with that.


What time of day do you generally feel more aroused

So my last question is, what time of day do you generally feel more aroused? Some people always in morning, some people afternoon, some people night. And some people it fluctuates. Do you have a pattern or is it fluctuating for you?

>> Speaker B: usually at night, but my vanilla job is a little, kind of put my schedule in turmoil a bit. So, I work a lot of nights now, so usually I would say at night, but lately I've been getting. It's the morning that I've been getting really horny out of nowhere. the mornings have been key for me lately.

>> Speaker A: Nice. Yeah. It's so weird for me most in the afternoon. Not that I can't other times. But for some reason, the way my body is, afternoon has always been high for me. And I know that's a really unusual thing. Like, you don't usually hear people say that when I've asked people. Like, nobody says afternoon.

>> Speaker B: There's a whole song about it, though, afternoon delight.

>> Speaker A: Yes, you're right. Oh, good. I'm not alone. Right?

>> Speaker B: I don't think there's a song for morning sex.

>> Speaker A: Right? But everybody talks about morning sex. Yeah. Oh, that's just crazy. I didn't even think about that. Yes. Afternoon delights.


Tell us more about doing the phone sex and what do you enjoy about it

So tell us more about doing the phone sex. Do you have people, what is it the main thing that you do and what do you enjoy about it? What's that drive that's like, I like to do this.

>> Speaker B: So I've dabbled in and have trained as a voice actor before and long, before I was even doing that, I always had the idea of wanting to try son sex.

>> Speaker A: Sure.

>> Speaker B: And I kind of chickened out. Like, I made a profile and then chickened out and never really used it. And then almost two years ago now, I don't know, I started really feeling myself and loving my voice and loving the different things I can do with my voice and wanted to try it again. I thought it would be a great way to try out new fantasies and to do something that I thought I would be skilled at. And, yeah, I do a lot of domination calls. I do a lot of calls from humiliating someone. I do a lot of girlfriend calls. A lot of bratty sort of syndom, kind of. There's a lot of things that I've noticed. I get a lot of, and then I still get some dudes that are just like, no, I just want phone sex.

>> Speaker A: Okay.

>> Speaker B: And jerk off. And it's like, okay, sure. but, yeah, I don't know. There's something very powerful to me knowing that this person. I mean, yes, I have a picture of myself on my profiles. They do. And can know what I look like for the most part.

>> Speaker A: Right.

>> Speaker B: Theoretically, they don't. And they're just really getting off just on what I'm saying and just what I'm doing. Sometimes I have a clip that's been doing kind of well, that it's just eight minutes of me laughing. I recorded myself laughing at a bunch of different points for a couple of months and made a whole long clip out of it. And there are men that just really get off on just me laughing. I don't have to do anything else to just laugh at them.

>> Speaker A: Wow.

>> Speaker B: Yeah. And I think that that's such a powerful kind of a feeling. And I don't know, I really, and truthfully enjoy it. Everybody complains about their job. I've definitely complained before. If I have people that are kind of getting on my nerves, but for the most part, I think it's really fun. And I enjoy the little power trip I get because it's like, oh, I can hear it. You're spent. And, yes, this was such an experience for you, and I'm the one that's responsible for that. It's a nice little power trip, I guess.

>> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I totally understand that you're, like, creating this experience for them and this wonderful memory. Yeah, absolutely.

>> Speaker B: And that's why I'm always saying, I think everyone that does phone sex take some acting classes, take some improv classes, because you never know what someone's going to ask for. Even if you have your specific niches. Like, I have a few different listings that are very specific within that specific listing, you don't know what someone's going to ask for. And it's kind of fun. I find it's a little bit more fun if I can hear what someone, maybe they're a little embarrassed to outright say it, but I can kind of figure out what they're going for. And instead of being very clinical and asking, you can sort of turn it into conversation and see if you can kind of lead them. And I definitely think that's a big part of why I enjoy it a lot, is because I've done acting and stuff before, and this feels very similar and is a nice way for me to use some of those tools.

>> Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Interviewed another woman who does phone sex, and she said the same thing. You have to be able to improvise. You have to be able to tell a story on the spot. You have to be able to get into what they're saying. And if you can't get yourself to fit into that, it's probably not going to work. Right. Because m if you can't mold yourself or change things on the fly, it may not be something that you can do. So just like, some people are really good at it and some people just, they can't do it.

>> Speaker B: Yeah. And sometimes it's not even a huge difference, especially if you train in voice acting specifically. I don't even know how to fully describe it, but there's little characters in my head. Like, if somebody asks for, usually I would say maybe it's more of like a girlfriend experience sort of a thing. I've noticed the tone of my voice and the register of my voice will change very slightly, but it makes all the difference. And that's something that a lot of people don't realize that a can do or b are doing until you kind of have that little toolbox and you can sort of work with it a little more. And, I think it's endlessly fascinating, even the subtle ways I'll change something just slightly. And it makes for a completely new experience for whoever it is that's calling. I think it's fascinating.

>> Speaker A: It is. And I know exactly what you're saying because I create audiobooks, which is similar to that, doing different characters, just changing your voice slightly can make a big difference. So, yeah, it's definitely a skill that you can hone and be aware of, but, yeah, a lot of people aren't. Like you said, they aren't aware that that matters, that that can make a difference.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, I guess it's something. I'm always an improv, too, is just so important because I've had it where somebody asks me something and I'm way thrown for a loop very quickly sort of recover. but, yeah, it's something I highly recommend. I'm always recommending, to do either of those things if you can, if you can afford to.

>> Speaker A: Right. Yeah. It's like the difference between. I was talking to a podcaster recently. It's the difference between podcasting live, doing something live, versus recording, and being able to edit it. You are on the spot and you need to react, and you need to react the way it's going to work so that you don't shut it down.

>> Speaker B: Yeah. That's the worst feeling is you or this has happened to me before, too. Sometimes people are not very open with what they want.

>> Speaker A: Yes. They try to handle.

>> Speaker B: They think that it is just. I can read their minds. And the worst thing is when you can just feel it, like, oh, shit, I gave the wrong response. This is not what this person is looking for, because it kind of changes the energy. And so it's very good to be able to keep on your feet and have an idea of the leading questions to ask. If someone is being a little cagey or you can tell, want something very specific, but they won't just get to the point. You can kind of figure out the way to go about that.


I think it's hard, too, because it's a delicate balance

>> Speaker A: I think it's hard, too, because it's a delicate balance. Right.

>> Speaker B: It's like the biggest customer service job I think I've ever had.

>> Speaker A: Right. Because you don't want them to shut down and be like, okay, I'm done. You don't want them to go there. You want them to be open and more open and more open.

>> Speaker B: Yes.


So you're focused mainly on fendom. Are those areas that you feel passionate about

>> Speaker A: So you're focused mainly on fendom. Are those areas that you decided you feel passionate about, or do you feel like you're just trying to fill, what, a void? Or is it something that you feel actually passionate about?

>> Speaker B: I feel pretty passionate about love when it comes to fendom. financial domination. I know a lot of people see it as like a get rich quick scheme. I know that there's a lot of issues with it online currently, and that's been its own discourse. I think. For me, I genuinely enjoy it because I like the idea and, everybody will answer differently, but I think I like the idea of being taken care of, sort of. Yes, domination. And yes, there's like an element to it where you're kind of degrading someone into giving you money and getting you things. But for me, I think what really scratches the itch on my end is I do like the idea of someone taking care of me. And they got me this just because I want it. And it does feel quite lovely in that regard. which is I think I like it so much. I am so used to being the one in my personal life. I am looking after everyone. I am running around like a lunatic. I'm a workaholic on top of doing this, too. It's nice that, I have something where it's like, yes, I want this, and therefore you are going to give it to me because you want to make me happy. And that feels, for me anyway, that's my personal read of it. That feels very lovely. And what turns me on personally. And then just regular femme dom, like, just female domination. I just like feeling powerful. Yeah, I like having control. I have such a little God complex that again, it's a scorpio in me. I love that I have you wrapped around my finger and you are going to do whatever I ask you to do. And it can just be because you find my voice so alluring. It can be because you think I'm attractive, whatever. But the fact that I have that level of power and control over you is just such a great feeling. And I think I tend more to be a little bit more on the nurturing side, maybe even a little more, I would say maybe this sounds bad, but I promise. I feel like when you're nurturing, you're a little bit more manipulative. Just in terms of. It's not as like, well, fuck you, loser. You're going to do this because you're a piece of shit and I hate it, but it's more like, well, you know, that that's what I want you to do. And you would do. I want you to do. There's a little bit more of that to it, but I don't know how else to describe it than saying, I guess a little bit of manipulation.

>> Speaker A: Yeah, you're kind of creating. They want. You want at the same time.

>> Speaker B: And it's what they enjoy as well. They like that feeling, too.


What do you think the difference is between fin dom situation and a sugar daddy situation

M. I feel like that probably does not sound the best, but I can't think of another term.

>> Speaker A: Let me ask you this. This popped in my head as we were talking. What do you think the difference is between a fin dom situation and a sugar daddy situation?

>> Speaker B: I think findom it's usually more 100% on the woman in terms of they will give me things not expecting anything back, versus a sugar daddy. It's a little bit more of an escort situation. There's a lot of sugar babies that will insist up and down that they are not doing sex work. They are not escorts. That is not true. Yes, you are. You are, I think, more beholden to. And you are relying more on the person giving you money versus the other way around in vindom where, okay, you claim you want to serve me. You claim that you want me to ruin your wallet, whatever. And I go, okay, well, yeah, then do what I said. You give me $250. Oh, you're not going to do it. Fine, I'll find somebody else. I don't care. Versus, I think in a sugar daddy, sugar baby situation, it's escorting. Even if you are not doing anything inherently sexual, you are still spending time with this person, and they get off on the idea that you are texting them and you are thanking them, and you are showering them with praise and affection because they did something for you. So it is. It's escorting, and both are forms of sex work. But it's just very funny to me that sugar babies will sometimes act as if, no, that's not at all. They literally just give me money. And it's like, that's not true. If you can't keep up with the lifestyle that you are currently living because your sugar daddy is no longer supporting it, then you were the one relying on them. You are the sub in this situation, in my opinion. And they were your dominant versus dom. I think it's the other way around. the dom would be the person receiving money in that regard. And in a sugar daddy sugar baby situation, the dom would be the one, I think, giving money and gifts and all of that. I think that's the key difference, even though I'm sure there are lots of people that would want to say otherwise.

>> Speaker A: That'S a great question. I think it's a great distinction to think about because I don't think, of it that way. But yeah.

>> Speaker B: And there's nothing wrong with either. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with either, but it's just very. A little od that people will conflate the two sometimes. And also, there are like, to me, the biggest problem is there are young ladies who will, swear up and down that they are not sex workers. It is not sex work. And it's like, no, but you are. And there's nothing wrong with it, but you have to understand that that is what you are. And it's a little unfortunate, too, because it's like, and that is by this person that is spoiling you that you're sugar diet. They see you as a sex worker. They are treating you as a sex worker. You should just understand that that is exactly what is going on here. Regardless if you have sex with them or not. That's the situation that you're in, and you should just be aware of it. That's all. You should just be aware of it and should just know what you need to know in order to do that. That's all. So there's nothing wrong with it. But it's just odd how that has been such a weird discourse for the past. I don't know, a couple of years, especially on TikTok, there's lots of girls that you can just tell have never in their lives have ever actually had that sort of a relationship. But they're insisting that they have and are also insisting, no, you can do it, too, if you are pretty like I, am. And it is not sex work. And it's like, no, it is, which is how I know that you're lying.

>> Speaker A: Right.


Is this kind of work something that you are open with people in your life

So is this kind of work something that you are open with people in your life, or is it something that you just kind of keep separate from people who are in your daily life?

>> Speaker B: I have a very close, trusted circle that knows what I do. It's not something I would tell people I work with in my vanilla job, and it is not something I would tell. I think just anyone but very close friends are aware and love it for me and think it's fun. and always joke all the time, like, if there was anyone in this group would be you. So, yes, m rouse me a little bit, because like I said, when I was in middle school and high school, I was a little bit more prudish than my friends and a little more good little Catholic girl. So, yeah, my friends will kind of just lovingly tease me sometimes, like, oh, who would have known?

>> Speaker A: I love that. I love that you've come into your own and you're more open and you're doing what? I love to hear women that reach that point and feel empowered by it. And, like, I like this. I love this. This makes me feel good. This is who I am. I feel open. I don't feel restricted. It's great.

>> Speaker B: Yeah. A lot of playtime, and especially if it's cake that maybe I've never had experience with before or never really thought of doing before or thought I would be into it. Sometimes if you have a customer who really knows what they're talking about and is really passionate, that makes you passionate, too. In my personal life, I don't think I would ever get into water sports. It's not for me. But I've totally had calls before where they're so passionate and they want me to piss on them so badly that I'm like, you know what? Yes. I am going to drink my venti sized cup.

>> Speaker A: Ah.

>> Speaker B: This is such a great idea. Oh, my God, I love that, too.

>> Speaker A: Because it's kind of like, it really is acting too. Like you're getting into that role in that moment, whatever it is, right. And you're, finding something in it that you enjoy or grab onto that somehow becomes a passion for you in that moment because of the interaction. Yes.

>> Speaker B: It's opened my mind a lot, I think, already past, what had been opened up until that point. I think it's opened my mind a lot even more. And is funny how my friends, if somebody is talking about something that they read online about, like a kink or whatever, and immediately little mirror caps will all turn at the same time and look at me and I'll be like, oh, that means.

>> Speaker A: I know exactly what you're saying. You're just more open. You're aware of different things that other people. I think it helps you realize that people are people, and we have all these different kinks. We're not defined by our kinks. Right.

>> Speaker B: Oh, yeah.

>> Speaker A: but some people think of it that way.

>> Speaker B: I get calls from farmers, I get calls from executives that businesses. I get calls from teachers. Everybody has a sex life. Everybody has their own things that they're into. And, yeah, it's very, I guess, a uniting sort of affront where, yeah, everybody's doing it.

>> Speaker A: Right. Yeah, I was an open person, too, right before I started doing all this, but now I'm even more open, too. It's like the more you're interacting with people, talking with people, you just realize it's just become less for me. I become less and less judgmental, which is where I want to be.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, I've become a lot less judgmental. It's changed my opinion a lot. I mean, before I got into sex work, I think my opinion had already changed because, I was someone who thought like, oh, maybe the nordic model or whatever. That sounds perfectly fine. And then I started doing some reading and was like, okay, no, that's not true. And then now that I am a sex worker myself and I hang out with so many others, and we're all online and we're all talking about these things, I think that standard my opinions even more, and I think has made politically, and I'm trying to think of how to phrase it. Yeah, I think very politically as well. It has shaped, and I was already very far to the left, but I think it's shaped a lot of my opinions even more past that. And, it's taught me so much. It's really taught me so much. And it's been very enjoyable to. Even if I think I know something to learn from somebody else who knows even more. It's been a really lovely experience, actually. And it's work, but it is work that I can say I enjoy doing.

>> Speaker A: Yeah. One femme Dom person that I interviewed put it, the best way I've heard yet is that she's living a life that she doesn't have to escape from. And I thought, wow, that is quite the statement to say you are doing exactly what you want and you don't feel like you have to escape. Not many people can say that sentence.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, no, that is very true.

>> Speaker A: Because.

>> Speaker B: I'm still new ish, only about two years or so, and I think that is my next goal. I would like to only be able to do this. I think doing this plus a vanilla job is a little draining. And it would be nice to focus solely on this because I feel like there's a lot that I can get done and, my own personal, private passions and stuff, my own little passion projects. It would be really great to just be able to do something where I'm working from home all the time.

>> Speaker A: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: And I love what I'm doing. I don't feel drained or it's great. And I think, yeah, she put that in a really good way, that she's living a life that she does not have to escape from being true to.

>> Speaker A: Openly in front of others, being true to herself.

>> Speaker B: Yes.

>> Speaker A: She's not having to not tell certain people what she's doing or what her passions are. So I think that's amazing. And I've talked with other dominatrix, people and stuff, and for them, it's amazing what they have. And like you're saying, too, what you learn about human nature and people and sexuality is almost just mind blowing. It's almost like you've taken classes, you've learned so much.


Sex workers call you when they're at their most private and intimate

Do you feel that way, too?

>> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. It's taught me a lot about human psychology. It's taught me politics in particular, I think has been the most interesting thing to learn about, because once I decided to get into this, I think I had already understood a lot more. And then the fact that my mind was opened even more past that. and how it's always sex workers have been on the front of pretty much every major labor movement of God knows how long. And that's very fascinating to me, too. Just the entire history of that is its own very fascinating subject. And I think from someone who's worked a lot of customer service jobs before, so I've already seen what I thought was every spectrum of human personalities known to mankind. That was not true until this. Now you're adding in the layer of, oh, this is when they're at their most private and intimate, and they're spending.

>> Speaker A: This time with you.

>> Speaker B: Now you're really knowing people.

>> Speaker A: it's special. It's a special place for them that they're sharing with you.

>> Speaker B: Yeah. And they feel comfortable. And that is the number one goal, too, whether you're degrading them or whatever. That is the most, I think, important fact is the fact that someone is choosing to be that level of intimate with you. Sorry, I got distracted. One of my roommates walked past for a second.

>> Speaker A: Oh, no worries at all. Oh, no, go ahead, finish.

>> Speaker B: No, that was a lot of word vomit. But yes, they're choosing to spend their most intimate moments with you. And I think it's something that does make me feel a little special. Like, yeah, you're choosing to be at your most vulnerable with a complete stranger, and that takes its own level of courage. Even if all they're doing is calling you. It can be a little scary to ask for what you want, right?

>> Speaker A: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: A lot of people are kind of taught not to. And sure, there are plenty of customers that can sometimes, just like any customer service job, they feel very entitled. And the customer is always right and blah, blah, blah, yada, yada. But that does take its own bit of courage to be able to call up and say, no, this is what I am interested in, this is what I like. This is something that has been hard for me to find elsewhere. Is this something you think you can do and what are your thoughts? And it's fascinating, it really is.

>> Speaker A: And they're wanting a connection with another human being. And I just think, why does that have to be seen as something bad? And it shouldn't be. They just want to connect with.

>> Speaker B: No, yeah, it shouldn't be at all. Everybody just wants to connect with someone. And the amount of calls I've had where they're not even necessarily sexual, I would say a lot of them have been kind of girlfriend experience calls where they just want to talk. They just want to talk. And there is that element of can feel it too, because I'm curled up in bed, I'm under the covers. And it has that same kind of a feeling as like, yeah, this is my person that I'm speaking to and I'm kind of just unloading after a long day. And that's all they want is just that little feeling of like I have someone that is listening to me.

>> Speaker A: That's valuable. I think that's hugely valuable. People need that and there's a lot of people that don't have anybody else they can talk about with that. So it is a very needed thing in this world.

>> Speaker B: Yeah. And it's crazy the amount of pushback it gets.

>> Speaker A: Oh, I know, right? Exactly.

>> Speaker B: So crazy. Like, oh, man, like all of these states now in the US are trying to just outright ban visiting pornography sites.

>> Speaker A: I know, isn't it crazy the hell is going on? It's like trying to go backwards in time.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, and it's crazy because it's always under the guise of save the children. But if you actually wanted to save the children, you would not be doing 99% of the things that you're doing. Especially too. It seems like a lot of these are rooted in specifically targeting, I think, queer folks. So if you really wanted to save the children, you would be protecting queer children instead of trying to exactly. Further isolate and demonize them.

>> Speaker A: there's that judgment.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, essentially same thing. Everybody fucks, everybody watches porn, including republican politicians.

>> Speaker A: Pretend that. People who pretend that they don't. Right?

>> Speaker B: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: So anne, we all have sex. Get over it, deal with it, shut up.

>> Speaker B: As long as everyone's a consenting adult, who cares.

>> Speaker A: Exactly. Why does it bother you. It shouldn't bother you, shouldn't bother you. It's outside of your life and experience. So just go back to your own little spot and damn thing.

>> Speaker B: Yes. And just stop trying to police others.

>> Speaker A: Yes. Oh, I hate that.


You self publish audiobooks through a company called ACX

Is there anything we haven't talked about yet that you wanted to get out there or say or talk about?

>> Speaker B: Oh, I'm curious. You self publish audiobooks. I would love to hear more about that. I think that's really fun.

>> Speaker A: It is. And I basically started my own little publishing company and I write books, so I narrate a lot of my own books, but I also narrate for other authors as well.

>> Speaker B: Oh, that's so awesome.

>> Speaker A: It is. So, you know, I wanted to build a portfolio, so I think I've narrated for, I don't know, maybe five or six other authors, maybe seven. And I do that through ACX. Ah. Or in a separate situation. And I've hired narrators through fiver recently I just hired a couple of male narrators to do male parts in my book, which was really slick too, because ACX isn't really set up for that. They're kind of like, you have to pay a person to do your entire book. That's great. When I'm doing it all myself, where I hire a narrator on the side, but I can't really hire someone to be a part on ACX.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, right.

>> Speaker A: Because you have to produce the entire audiobook. It only is split between the one narrator and if you're going to do royalty shares and the author. And they have a lot of different scenarios too, where you can say per finished hour, they talk about, you get paid per finished hour when you're talking about audiobooks. So, yeah, I've really explored that and just really expanded it. And it's really fun. I love narrating. I love acting out the parts. Yeah, it's really fun. the thing is, you have to be able to fall into the ACX guidelines. Like they have certain regulations that your audio has to pass, and that can be the challenge if you're not set up for it.

>> Speaker B: It's like technical guidelines follow.

>> Speaker A: Like, I've tried a few people that have had great voices. They've tried to narrate with me, but if I can't get their file to pass the standards, then I can't use. So, you know, there's been a few people that I've really wanted to use, but I couldn't because they couldn't get the audio to the point where it would pass the ACX standards in which they aren't even that great standards, but you can't have any background sound, so you kind of have to have some sort of a professional set up a microphone, that kind of stuff.

>> Speaker B: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: It's really fun, though. I enjoy it.

>> Speaker B: No, that's awesome because I didn't know that self publishing audiobooks was even a thing and that there's a whole market that's specifically for that. That's amazing.

>> Speaker A: It is also on Findaway voices is another way you can do it. But the really cool thing about if you ever wanted to try it, if you can get your audio to meet those standards. The difference is in Findaway voices, you can create audios without a book in existence first. On, Amazon, you have to have an audible, you have to have a book in existence first, like an ebook in existence first before you can turn it into an audiobook.

>> Speaker B: Okay, got it. Okay.

>> Speaker A: But the really cool thing about Findaway voices is you don't. And so you can create audios into an audiobook and just publish it as an audiobook and publish it on platforms. So you could create something and just publish it. You know what I mean? Awesome.

>> Speaker B: yeah.

>> Speaker A: And if you ever. I could add you to my list of narrators. If you can get your audio to fit, I could add you to my list of who I hire. Thank you. It's hard to get. You have to have it. Like, I have a sound room. Like, I have this foam everywhere closet works really well, though, for recording if you don't have one. Something with a lot of fabric.

>> Speaker B: Yeah. I've been putting off setting up a booth for M. It's a little crowded in my current living stitch because that's the one thing. Because everybody now with voice, I guess Covid really changed things. Now there are no more in person auditions.

>> Speaker A: Right.

>> Speaker B: There's very hard to find them, which is so crazy that they're expecting everybody to have like a professional.

>> Speaker A: I know, right?

>> Speaker B: You're supposed to sound like it's like millions and millions of dollars. Like, a booth at home. And it's like. That's not always feasible.

>> Speaker A: No, it's not.

>> Speaker B: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: But you can do different things. Like, I've seen online, too. People almost make like a fort. Yeah.

>> Speaker B: It's like a little blanket fort. Yeah.

>> Speaker A: And that can work because you want to have a lot of fabric wherever you do it because that really makes a lot of the difference. You don't want it to sound like a tunnel. Like, if I'm hiring a narrator, it has to sound like we're kind of in the same room because if one person sounds kind of hollow and the other person doesn't, it just takes you out of that experience.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, it sounds a little weird exactly.

>> Speaker A: But yeah, you should check it out.

>> Speaker B: No, I will. That sounds so much fun.

>> Speaker A: And fiver is another place. Like I said, I've found a few narrators on there. The beautiful thing about fiver is you can create your own situation. So like they would say, I'll charge x amount of money for 1000 words or whatever so they can set it up exactly like that and then go from there. Yeah.


Night premium chat is a newer service that lets you do video calls

anything else that you want to say or mention, and maybe mention again where everybody can find you. And of course your links will be down in the podcast show notes.

>> Speaker B: You can find me anywhere you want to get your rocks off. Night premium chat loyal fans. oh my gosh, I want clips. You can find me on Twitter, you can find me on moan. I am everywhere and I think I'm going to be. I'm hoping to start doing more video, I think soon to go along with my audio stuff. So hopefully you can actually see me soon.

>> Speaker A: That's fantastic. Tell me a little bit more, what's premium chat? I haven't really heard much about that one.

>> Speaker B: It's a little bit of a newer one. I think it's more. They have a whole section that they advertise. They are fine with adult work. but you could also, let's say I am an expert on, I don't know, something lab related. And I am offering out my expertise via a video call or phone call or whatever you want to submit a paper for me to look over and edit for, you can do that as well. I only know the sex work aspects of it. So I can do chats on there, I can do phone calls. I've mostly gotten phone calls on there. Nobody has really seemed to do the chat function for me yet. And I don't personally offer video calls, but you can do video calls on there too. It's a very easy set up in my opinion, in terms of as a customer and as a voice gal for these things.

>> Speaker A: And people can purchase them to talk with you in some way.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, just have a chat. Nice.

>> Speaker A: That's very cool. Well, this was very amazing. Thank you so much for being here. And it was amazing. Thank you. It was fun to chat with you. I really enjoyed it. So everyone, don't forget to check down on the podcast show notes where you can find red velvet in that. She just listed the places she's been, but an easy link down in the podcast show notes. You can click on her link tree, and my link tree is down there as well. So everyone, you have an amazing fucking day. I love you. And don't forget to enjoy your bodies. They're meant for us to enjoy pleasure and get stress relief. Hey, get some natural sleep aid, some natural stress relief, and use your own body. Make sure you come today. Fuck yeah. All ah right. Have a good day.